A third rate captain.

I have watched Mohammad Yousuf closely, last time round in Delhi, he fielded under my nose. At third man. Third man is MoYo’s favourite place in the whole world. It is here that he’s one with himself, far from the madding crowds of team bonhomie, backslapping, hair ruffling, feelings, feeling.

When a wicket fell, no less than an Indian wicket that, after the mercurial Shoaib Akhtar ran a mile to bowl, MoYo didn’t budge an inch, forget drag his heals a few metres to the middle.

Instead he turned on his heal, turned his back to the boys, got lost in some future ICL thoughts.

Now MoYo is to be captain for a full test series. Never mind he says – I will captain from third man. This way, I don’t need to hurl annoying instructions that captains…he stops mid sentence, sensing an effort .

From third man there will be no such problems. Bowlers will bowl, appeal, change ends. Yes, that’s another thing, no appealing either. “I will not raise a finger, not in appeal, not at anyone, I want peace”

And what about the change of ends after every over – surely MoYo will not walk a few paces to mid on - that would be much too close to his teammates or cross over to the other side again (just to be in his safe house, third man)

MoYo languidly strokes his beard, and replies somewhat sternly, “I cannot afford to remain there and have a long on…I am not a defensive captain...I plan to go off the field every alternate over and give some youngster an opportunity to play for Pakistan”

On Bored: Vettori to captain Pakistan