hey, hey, hey
Why do i gotta play
play such a slow game
slow game slow game slow game
why do i gotta think
think before i play
play such a slow game
these spinners and these swinging balls
that leave me, leave me, leave me
outside off, off, off, off
it's not on baby, it's not on baby
I wanna throw the kitchen sink at you
But they say somebody gotta do the dishes first
Hey, I don't wanna do the dishes baby
I just wanna throw the kitchen sink at you baby
But this test cricket, oh she's such a bitch, baby
She wants me to think, think, think
But what about the **%$#% Sehwag
He don't think, he don't think
And I'm the chosen one baby
I've been chosen, not once, but twice, thrice,
But so many times baby
If only it was easy as in Pakistan
I'd just retire from test cricket
Y'kno Boom Boom played 27 tests in 12 years
Oh man, that's so fucking cute
And I, what I do
I played 34 tests in 7 years
My average is 35, his something 36
No wonder I'm singing the blues
And now here I am sick in Sri Lanka
No, no, no don't get me wrong
I'm not sick of Sri Lanka
I'm sick in Sri Lanka
I may not retire from test cricket
but hell, am gonna retire for the night
There's a big game on tomorrow
And small mercies, I'm not playing
I'm gonna get better
and whip some one-day sides ass into shape
Till then, till then, it's not as bad as it seems
No sour grapes, no sour grapes, baby
I'm gonna snarl back into shape.
F*ck you dengue
On Bored: Get swell soon, Yuvraj
Showing posts with label Yuvraj Singh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yuvraj Singh. Show all posts
August 16, 2010
August 04, 2010
June 08, 2010
Should Yuvraj have been dropped now
It should not have come to this, Yuvi should have been rested much earlier. I recall chats with SP way before this IPL, when we thought there was no way Yuvi was fit, leave alone match fit.
In the past, some seniors, esp Sachin, prefer a break when the going's not too great. At no time in his career, can I recall Sachin being dropped. He usually rests himself. And it's often after failed world cup campaigns.
Each team has at least one, if not two players, that they refuse to drop no matter what - they are the star players, the cricketing face of the nation. It is the cricket board's job to shepherd these players through rough times. Btw do you recall Ponting being dropped in the last ten years?
While Yuvi is nowhere near Sachin's stature, maybe not even level with MSD, but he's definitely No. 3 when it comes to the commercial face, however warped, of Indian cricket.
That doesn't bother me either. I'm all for dropping anyone and everyone, call it rest, drop, just clear the furniture. That's been the problem with Yuvraj, he's been costly furniture for a while, and it's cost India plenty, esp in the T20 World Cup. Add to Yuvi, the luxuries of having Yusuf Pathan in the side, and you know, the Indian team had an expense account eating into its performance.
I don't think dropping Yuvi was easy for the selectors, they just could not hold on to him any more. With similar showings, lesser mortals like Sehwag have been dropped many times over in the past.
In Yuvi's case, more than dropping him, it's like dropping the market forces that allow him to levitate in the field. The thud-landing was coming, it's a shame it took so long. Now why am I thinking of Ishant Sharma....
On Bored: What Yuvi did...
In the past, some seniors, esp Sachin, prefer a break when the going's not too great. At no time in his career, can I recall Sachin being dropped. He usually rests himself. And it's often after failed world cup campaigns.
Each team has at least one, if not two players, that they refuse to drop no matter what - they are the star players, the cricketing face of the nation. It is the cricket board's job to shepherd these players through rough times. Btw do you recall Ponting being dropped in the last ten years?
While Yuvi is nowhere near Sachin's stature, maybe not even level with MSD, but he's definitely No. 3 when it comes to the commercial face, however warped, of Indian cricket.
That doesn't bother me either. I'm all for dropping anyone and everyone, call it rest, drop, just clear the furniture. That's been the problem with Yuvraj, he's been costly furniture for a while, and it's cost India plenty, esp in the T20 World Cup. Add to Yuvi, the luxuries of having Yusuf Pathan in the side, and you know, the Indian team had an expense account eating into its performance.
I don't think dropping Yuvi was easy for the selectors, they just could not hold on to him any more. With similar showings, lesser mortals like Sehwag have been dropped many times over in the past.
In Yuvi's case, more than dropping him, it's like dropping the market forces that allow him to levitate in the field. The thud-landing was coming, it's a shame it took so long. Now why am I thinking of Ishant Sharma....
On Bored: What Yuvi did...
December 26, 2009
Who will bowl with the relatively new ball?
Through the one-day series India has picked 3 medium pacers, one of whom has ended up going for plenty. Of course, once Ishant was included he was the chosen one. In his latter years when Kumble was still playing one-day cricket, then too India played 3 seamers plus the one spinner; the fifth bowler’s role tackled by part-timers.
Thus India’s attack lost out on either Kumble or Bhajji when playing teams like Australia and South Africa away from the sub-continent. The 2003 finals in South Africa, when the Aussies whipped 359 runs was against an attack sans Kumble; Zaheer going at over 9, Nehra at 8 plus runs per over.
Surprisingly it was the part-timers like Mongia, Yuvraj, Sehwag, Sachin who bowled 15 overs for 85 runs. Where as the three seamers went for 211 of their 27 overs.
That’s one game, but this is a pattern across India’s one-day games over the last few years. And if the part-timers(usually spinners), and there are always a few who can bowl 10 overs – why doesn’t India take the lead and start playing two specialist spinners as an attacking move?
That is, bowl them in the power plays – take pace off, challenge the batsmen to hit over the top when the field is in; these are cricket clichés, said often enough, but no Indian captain has been brave enough to play two specialist spinners.
It’ll be interesting to see how many one-dayers Bhajji and Kumble have played together; it’s time India realised you don’t need a home test series to play two specialist spinners; always play your best four or five bowlers.
For old time’s sake, I took another look at that India v Bangladesh scorecard in the 2007 world cup game; while the final scores do not give you a sense of the mauling, here too India played three seamers plus Bhajji.
Times like this you wonder, where did Kumble play his 271 one dayers, when did he take those 337 wickets, why wasn’t he good enough to be the fifth bowler?
Kumble played his last one dayer in March 2007, an inconsequential world cup game against Bermuda. He played his last test much later, in November, 2008. For the record, Bhajji did not play in that game, India bowled three seamers, and the fifth bowler’s role was split between Sachin and Sehwag.
Kumble’s one day bowling average was 30.89; Bhajji’s stands at 33.12.
Today, Bhajji is a first choice spinner while either Ojha and Mishra make the squad (but not the playing XI) depending what the flavour of the season is. Not long before both are dispensed with, and India turns to an old flame, Piyush Chawla. What better, he even bats as high as six for his Ranji team.
On Bored: batty about batting
Thus India’s attack lost out on either Kumble or Bhajji when playing teams like Australia and South Africa away from the sub-continent. The 2003 finals in South Africa, when the Aussies whipped 359 runs was against an attack sans Kumble; Zaheer going at over 9, Nehra at 8 plus runs per over.
Surprisingly it was the part-timers like Mongia, Yuvraj, Sehwag, Sachin who bowled 15 overs for 85 runs. Where as the three seamers went for 211 of their 27 overs.
That’s one game, but this is a pattern across India’s one-day games over the last few years. And if the part-timers(usually spinners), and there are always a few who can bowl 10 overs – why doesn’t India take the lead and start playing two specialist spinners as an attacking move?
That is, bowl them in the power plays – take pace off, challenge the batsmen to hit over the top when the field is in; these are cricket clichés, said often enough, but no Indian captain has been brave enough to play two specialist spinners.
It’ll be interesting to see how many one-dayers Bhajji and Kumble have played together; it’s time India realised you don’t need a home test series to play two specialist spinners; always play your best four or five bowlers.
For old time’s sake, I took another look at that India v Bangladesh scorecard in the 2007 world cup game; while the final scores do not give you a sense of the mauling, here too India played three seamers plus Bhajji.
Times like this you wonder, where did Kumble play his 271 one dayers, when did he take those 337 wickets, why wasn’t he good enough to be the fifth bowler?
Kumble played his last one dayer in March 2007, an inconsequential world cup game against Bermuda. He played his last test much later, in November, 2008. For the record, Bhajji did not play in that game, India bowled three seamers, and the fifth bowler’s role was split between Sachin and Sehwag.
Kumble’s one day bowling average was 30.89; Bhajji’s stands at 33.12.
Today, Bhajji is a first choice spinner while either Ojha and Mishra make the squad (but not the playing XI) depending what the flavour of the season is. Not long before both are dispensed with, and India turns to an old flame, Piyush Chawla. What better, he even bats as high as six for his Ranji team.
On Bored: batty about batting
November 09, 2009
September 12, 2009
Not quite a field day but so what
India started its back-to-back game fielding the same team – if they looked reasonably fresh yesterday, they were unreasonably rusty today. An ODI in Sri Lanka is sapping, back-to back ones doubly so. Yet India fielded the same eleven – isn't that serious intent to retain its No. 1 ranking.
Today’s game was a useful opportunity to rest up to three players, playing Virat Kohli, Praveen Kumar and Amit Mishra instead.
Years back Sachin Tendulkar spoke about the punishing schedules of back to back games, something he could cope with earlier but not so anymore. After the game, any player who uses the back-to-back excuse should be taped at the mouth.
To blame India’s fielding wows on the two seniors is the easy way out – the failure was a cooperative society venture. Each player raised his hand, and said, I will do my worst, we’ve played back-to-back games.
In the 49th over, Ashish Nehra’s drop of a skyer, Yuvraj’s bemused look, just about summed it up. If you didn’t laugh at the Indian effort, and were still watching, you’d be a nervous wreck.
I wangled a nap in between, woke up to one Chamara Kapugedara playing the innings of his life.
Earlier, Bhajji jogged with his dog while the Lankans jogged three, sharp shooter Dinesh Karthik hurled crazy balls at his fellow keeper MSD, and MS made amends for some sharp stumpings. RP, Sachin, Dravid, Nehra, like their mates, all looked like they were playing some retired cricket leagues. Their song, 'slow down you move to fast, you gotta make the moment last!'
It's obvious now, there is no senior-junior divide in this team. Here’s to one team India. Here’s to being No. 1. One day at a time.
Read an earlier ode to India's fielding here
Today’s game was a useful opportunity to rest up to three players, playing Virat Kohli, Praveen Kumar and Amit Mishra instead.
Years back Sachin Tendulkar spoke about the punishing schedules of back to back games, something he could cope with earlier but not so anymore. After the game, any player who uses the back-to-back excuse should be taped at the mouth.
To blame India’s fielding wows on the two seniors is the easy way out – the failure was a cooperative society venture. Each player raised his hand, and said, I will do my worst, we’ve played back-to-back games.
In the 49th over, Ashish Nehra’s drop of a skyer, Yuvraj’s bemused look, just about summed it up. If you didn’t laugh at the Indian effort, and were still watching, you’d be a nervous wreck.
I wangled a nap in between, woke up to one Chamara Kapugedara playing the innings of his life.
Earlier, Bhajji jogged with his dog while the Lankans jogged three, sharp shooter Dinesh Karthik hurled crazy balls at his fellow keeper MSD, and MS made amends for some sharp stumpings. RP, Sachin, Dravid, Nehra, like their mates, all looked like they were playing some retired cricket leagues. Their song, 'slow down you move to fast, you gotta make the moment last!'
It's obvious now, there is no senior-junior divide in this team. Here’s to one team India. Here’s to being No. 1. One day at a time.
Read an earlier ode to India's fielding here
August 16, 2009
Has Rahul Dravid returned for Sachin Tendulkar?
Sachin intends to play the 2011 World Cup. He will, in spite of form or fitness. He will, because that is his destiny, it has been written by him, endorsed by the BCCI.
Part of that vision is Sachin lifting the World Cup together with MS Dhoni, Yuvraj Singh, Harbhajan Singh and Rahul Dravid.
Each one of these players is key to Sachin’s plans. While MS is captain, and should still be in 2011,Yuvi and Bhajji are Sachin’s core group. They are his comfort zone. Together they are the collective face of Indian cricket.
Then what about Rahul Dravid? Dravid is a strong reminder that the 90’s master class is far superior to today’s flash of youth. He’s a flashback to both his and Sachin’s glory days. His return, more than even Sachin’s, states unequivocally that the young guns are not a patch on the fab four.
It does not matter how many of the fab four remain, what matters is the latest battle between then and now has been won yet again by India’s fab four.
The resting of the so-called next Sachin Tendulkar, Rohit Sharma is a case in point. Rohit, the brightest of the next generation swagger has fallen. Raina, Yusuf, Karthik are not indicative of now as Rohit is.
Just as Dravid and Sachin are indicative of then. Look back beyond Sharma’s scattered scoring, look at his scattered positions in the batting order. Was this all meant to be?
Yet again, Sachin and Rahul will take the field in blue together. How well it wears on him is not important, that he has returned is what’s crucial. More so to co-author Sachin Tendulkar’s legacy.
Here's another take on Rahul Dravid at Bored Cricket Crazy Indians: Living in the past?
Part of that vision is Sachin lifting the World Cup together with MS Dhoni, Yuvraj Singh, Harbhajan Singh and Rahul Dravid.
Each one of these players is key to Sachin’s plans. While MS is captain, and should still be in 2011,Yuvi and Bhajji are Sachin’s core group. They are his comfort zone. Together they are the collective face of Indian cricket.
Then what about Rahul Dravid? Dravid is a strong reminder that the 90’s master class is far superior to today’s flash of youth. He’s a flashback to both his and Sachin’s glory days. His return, more than even Sachin’s, states unequivocally that the young guns are not a patch on the fab four.
It does not matter how many of the fab four remain, what matters is the latest battle between then and now has been won yet again by India’s fab four.
The resting of the so-called next Sachin Tendulkar, Rohit Sharma is a case in point. Rohit, the brightest of the next generation swagger has fallen. Raina, Yusuf, Karthik are not indicative of now as Rohit is.
Just as Dravid and Sachin are indicative of then. Look back beyond Sharma’s scattered scoring, look at his scattered positions in the batting order. Was this all meant to be?
Yet again, Sachin and Rahul will take the field in blue together. How well it wears on him is not important, that he has returned is what’s crucial. More so to co-author Sachin Tendulkar’s legacy.
Here's another take on Rahul Dravid at Bored Cricket Crazy Indians: Living in the past?
July 10, 2009
Freddie, Yuvi, Roy, Boom Boom and the cool maan.
‘Ricky
is from Tasmania
But it’s tricky
for those who’re from Talisman-ia’
“Freddie is their talisman”. Through the Ashes, through the English summers, through every game that Freddie plays, you’re bound to hear, that cockney sparkle in Bumble’s voice announce, “make no mistake… Freddie is England’s talisman” It’s as if the word talisman was made to coexist with Freddie’s exploits. It didn’t matter how much or how little he did, he was Freddie Flintoff, he was England’s talisman – “and any ball now, any ball now, England could be released”
If Freddie is doing too little, or indisposed, that is easily explained by injury or lack of support from the other end – the price Freddie pays for being leader of the pack and being bowled into the ground or falling off the ship.
The closest to Freddie in the Indian ranks is Yuvi. Listen, how similar they sound – Freddie, Yuvi. And how both have similarly underachieved, yet in our heart’s eye, they’re simply the best. They can change the cricket world on its axis, and a game, with a glare. They aren’t entirely about cricket, nor can they be – their appeal is beyond sport, and for them, we are always game. We can't get enough of them – nor can the billboards or the bimbos. They are the quintessential star players.
Across the border, the closest such star that defies logic is Afridi. He has his own jingle – Boom Boom Afridi! It’s part of every Paki banner to every com box in every land that Boom Boom does or doesn’t do his Boom Boom in.
Another fascinating similarity between these players is how we accept them, almost in spite of themselves – “all is forgiven, come home Yuvi” Slack fitness, repeat injuries and offences are easily overlooked, rock star ways are wantonly indulged. It could have been Mick Jagger and not Freddie, and we wouldn’t have known the difference.
In the Windies, their super boy talisman is captain, Gayle. The yellow shades, the Rastafari swagger, every match is a T20 and I will bowl-a-few approach.
Australia had Symonds, and then Symonds had Australia, and then they both had enough – but teams like Pakistan, India, England, and even the Windies continue to challenge themselves.
Is it because these players do not just determine the outcome of a game, they dictate the very commerce of cricket.
Mildfred: What’re you rebelling against, Johnny?”
Johnny: Whaddya got?
They are the Johnnies, the wild ones, the rebels – and it doesn’t matter if they win a game, score a run, or run through the batting, the fact that they’re playing means anything can happen.
It’s as much their frailties as their super achieving powers that make them. We accept them not just because of what they do, but because of what they could have done.
We lost a game but had Yuvi fired we would have surely won. It is always within Freddie’s grasp. And like you saw, if Afridi gets firing you win the World Cup.
These guys do it on their own. With them it ceases to be a team sport. It is a one man show. And that’s what the movies are about. And that’s where we love to live. Because reality bites.
This piece started with this
is from Tasmania
But it’s tricky
for those who’re from Talisman-ia’
“Freddie is their talisman”. Through the Ashes, through the English summers, through every game that Freddie plays, you’re bound to hear, that cockney sparkle in Bumble’s voice announce, “make no mistake… Freddie is England’s talisman” It’s as if the word talisman was made to coexist with Freddie’s exploits. It didn’t matter how much or how little he did, he was Freddie Flintoff, he was England’s talisman – “and any ball now, any ball now, England could be released”
If Freddie is doing too little, or indisposed, that is easily explained by injury or lack of support from the other end – the price Freddie pays for being leader of the pack and being bowled into the ground or falling off the ship.
The closest to Freddie in the Indian ranks is Yuvi. Listen, how similar they sound – Freddie, Yuvi. And how both have similarly underachieved, yet in our heart’s eye, they’re simply the best. They can change the cricket world on its axis, and a game, with a glare. They aren’t entirely about cricket, nor can they be – their appeal is beyond sport, and for them, we are always game. We can't get enough of them – nor can the billboards or the bimbos. They are the quintessential star players.
Across the border, the closest such star that defies logic is Afridi. He has his own jingle – Boom Boom Afridi! It’s part of every Paki banner to every com box in every land that Boom Boom does or doesn’t do his Boom Boom in.
Another fascinating similarity between these players is how we accept them, almost in spite of themselves – “all is forgiven, come home Yuvi” Slack fitness, repeat injuries and offences are easily overlooked, rock star ways are wantonly indulged. It could have been Mick Jagger and not Freddie, and we wouldn’t have known the difference.
In the Windies, their super boy talisman is captain, Gayle. The yellow shades, the Rastafari swagger, every match is a T20 and I will bowl-a-few approach.
Australia had Symonds, and then Symonds had Australia, and then they both had enough – but teams like Pakistan, India, England, and even the Windies continue to challenge themselves.
Is it because these players do not just determine the outcome of a game, they dictate the very commerce of cricket.
Mildfred: What’re you rebelling against, Johnny?”
Johnny: Whaddya got?
They are the Johnnies, the wild ones, the rebels – and it doesn’t matter if they win a game, score a run, or run through the batting, the fact that they’re playing means anything can happen.
It’s as much their frailties as their super achieving powers that make them. We accept them not just because of what they do, but because of what they could have done.
We lost a game but had Yuvi fired we would have surely won. It is always within Freddie’s grasp. And like you saw, if Afridi gets firing you win the World Cup.
These guys do it on their own. With them it ceases to be a team sport. It is a one man show. And that’s what the movies are about. And that’s where we love to live. Because reality bites.
This piece started with this
June 15, 2009
Headless, headless, headless.
This was a poor game for India. Not because they lost, but because they refused to win. From MSD’s wait until dark captaincy, to the exclusion of Ojha, and not least, expecting new kid, Ravindra Jadeja to win the game. While the Gods of Indian cricket, MSD and Yuvraj waited to score the winning runs. If twenty overs is too much time to play, how will the super stars pass their time in a one-dayer or for that matter, those stinking test matches?
India lost the game many times over, here’s how
1. Drop your main striker Ojha against a team that needs a spin doctor
2. Retain Ishant Sharma, who brings with him KKR’s losing ways
3. Exclude one of your few thinking bowlers, Praveen Kumar
4. Underbowl your best bowler RP Singh (3-0-13-1)
5. Underbowl your bowling captain Zaheer Khan (3-0-26-1)
6. Underbowl Yusuf Pathan (0-0-0-0) Move away from the only attacking move you’ve learnt in a long time, MSD, and not bring on spin in the power play overs. Did Warne advise you against it? Did KP tell Warne to
7. Overbowl Ishant Sharma (4-0-36-0)
8. Overbowl Yuvraj Singh (2-0-20-0)
9. Send Jadeja in at 4 – MSD, it was your call, don’t pass the buck with "too many wickets fell.." Finally, India lost 5 to England's 7
10. Scrambled eggs for thinking tank
11. England bowled short
12. India waited too long
(The Neil Young song, Helpless ringing in my ear, but it sounds like Headless)
Enjoy the Bye Bye T20WC series at Bored Cricket Crazy Indians!
India lost the game many times over, here’s how
1. Drop your main striker Ojha against a team that needs a spin doctor
2. Retain Ishant Sharma, who brings with him KKR’s losing ways
3. Exclude one of your few thinking bowlers, Praveen Kumar
4. Underbowl your best bowler RP Singh (3-0-13-1)
5. Underbowl your bowling captain Zaheer Khan (3-0-26-1)
6. Underbowl Yusuf Pathan (0-0-0-0) Move away from the only attacking move you’ve learnt in a long time, MSD, and not bring on spin in the power play overs. Did Warne advise you against it? Did KP tell Warne to
7. Overbowl Ishant Sharma (4-0-36-0)
8. Overbowl Yuvraj Singh (2-0-20-0)
9. Send Jadeja in at 4 – MSD, it was your call, don’t pass the buck with "too many wickets fell.." Finally, India lost 5 to England's 7
10. Scrambled eggs for thinking tank
11. England bowled short
12. India waited too long
(The Neil Young song, Helpless ringing in my ear, but it sounds like Headless)
Enjoy the Bye Bye T20WC series at Bored Cricket Crazy Indians!
April 17, 2008
Soviets and lefties.
Looks like India won the battle and didn’t lose the war either. When you win the last test in a series it’s an altogether different high - be it to seal or square a series or pick some hand-me-downs from the Aussies in a dead rubber. In dead rubbers, it appears, the Aussies go get a manicure – and choose not to dirty their hands with the efforts of a scorecard inspiring 4-0 win. 2-1 will do, thanks mate.
So while the Aussies pound teams in the virginal days of a series, it’s full time commitment that puts them off. Except when it’s the English they’re deflowering. That’s when even five-nil is an understatement. You have to delve into details. How many innings’ defeats? How many ten-wicket wins? Are the pommies scarred for life? Will they make it for the next Ashes?
And that is what separates two teams in a series, even when they are locked at one all. Like India-South Africa. Who, in Rameez Raja speak, dented the others’ confidence quite badly?
Even though India had the last laugh, what about Ahmedabad? Why did it happen? Does it necessitate a complete breakdown –followed by a rehab visit to get all cleaned up - to bounce back again?
Is team India just a motley crew of gifted cricketers put together– the Soviet Union of cricket. Also consider India’s policy on no-first-use of nukes! Hit us, then we’ll hit back, only harder.
Over to the Bong bombshell Saurav Ganguly, who’s nearly hooked up with the potential of his big box office debut. And though he didn’t chart a century at Kanpur, it set Sauravspeak in motion: his best innings, he says. Or did he mean, “one of”. Not as in “one off”. Either way, Dada was on: a left handed VVS Laxman.
Of the other lefties, Irfan Pathan wasn’t playing, Piyush Chawla got two wickets (and then wasn’t playing) and with Yuvraj Singh, the promoters wangled a 32 run item number.
Who’s left?
Gambhir for Jaffer?
Also don't be surprised if IPL performances decide the odd test slot.
By the way, Suresh Raina bats left handed too.
Looks like India won the battle and didn’t lose the war either. When you win the last test in a series it’s an altogether different high - be it to seal or square a series or pick some hand-me-downs from the Aussies in a dead rubber. In dead rubbers, it appears, the Aussies go get a manicure – and choose not to dirty their hands with the efforts of a scorecard inspiring 4-0 win. 2-1 will do, thanks mate.
So while the Aussies pound teams in the virginal days of a series, it’s full time commitment that puts them off. Except when it’s the English they’re deflowering. That’s when even five-nil is an understatement. You have to delve into details. How many innings’ defeats? How many ten-wicket wins? Are the pommies scarred for life? Will they make it for the next Ashes?
And that is what separates two teams in a series, even when they are locked at one all. Like India-South Africa. Who, in Rameez Raja speak, dented the others’ confidence quite badly?
Even though India had the last laugh, what about Ahmedabad? Why did it happen? Does it necessitate a complete breakdown –followed by a rehab visit to get all cleaned up - to bounce back again?
Is team India just a motley crew of gifted cricketers put together– the Soviet Union of cricket. Also consider India’s policy on no-first-use of nukes! Hit us, then we’ll hit back, only harder.
Over to the Bong bombshell Saurav Ganguly, who’s nearly hooked up with the potential of his big box office debut. And though he didn’t chart a century at Kanpur, it set Sauravspeak in motion: his best innings, he says. Or did he mean, “one of”. Not as in “one off”. Either way, Dada was on: a left handed VVS Laxman.
Of the other lefties, Irfan Pathan wasn’t playing, Piyush Chawla got two wickets (and then wasn’t playing) and with Yuvraj Singh, the promoters wangled a 32 run item number.
Who’s left?
Gambhir for Jaffer?
Also don't be surprised if IPL performances decide the odd test slot.
By the way, Suresh Raina bats left handed too.
April 09, 2008
Swap Analysis.
How would it feel to switch loyalties before the final test match at Kanpur? That is, to spell the betrayal in words, become a South African supporter.
For one, you will cease to be part of cult support groups like the wonder bra camp, the Aussie Fanatics, English Barmy Army, Bharat Army, Chachcha ki fauj (Pakistani) or the Anonymous fan club that supports Sri Lankan, West Indies, New Zealand, Bangladeshi and Sehwag’s cricket.
By supporting South African cricket you will enter the realms of many World Cup knockouts that the Proteas lost, which on form they should have won.
But at Kanpur there won’t be any Duckworth Lewis equation to cause their downfall.
Also Alan Donald, Shaun Pollock and Lance Klusener don’t play the national side anymore.
Klusener however, is still pivotal in losing lost-games that he nearly wins – now for his ICL Club, the Kolkotta Tigers. But that’s Klusener for you. The nearly there man. Mr. Almost. Master Stop short!
Of course, baby faced Boucher the mathematician is still there. He’s partly the D/L man that got some vital statistics wrong. May be he overlooked the fine print next to an Asterix. And though he helped chase down a record 400 odd versus Australia, some demons never leave you.
Then there is Jacque Kallis. He’s been there. But somehow you don’t quite remember him from those worst of times that could have been the best of times.
It’s usually the beaten down faces of Cronje, Pollock, Klusener, Boucher, Gibbs. Right Gibbs isn’t there either, so that’s one choker less, whose droppings drop world cups no less.
But look back a few months, and the choking spirit is still intact. Graeme Smith and his not so merry men mucked up that World Cup twenty20 game against yours untruly, India.
That time though, there was no Kallis. And Smith went blue in the face when asked if they were, “Jaqued” without Kallis.
Kanpur though, is no T20 or one-day world cup game. It’s a test match of far less interest. The stakes, if any, are not Bollywoodesque . The IPL is round the corner. The iconic Indians will do their gig then.
If you are a punter, then it’s South Afrikaaa!
If you are India, for once in the series you should think team selection – ask yourself, what irks the South Africans most - Australians and leg spinners? So even if you can’t play Shane Warne and Rickie Ponting – what’s the next best irritation?
Piyush Chawla and your cockiest batsman. Attention: Yuvraj Singh. It’s the last test of a home series. Come on over for a second helping.
More than beating a winning team, the South Africans can’t beat a winning attitude.
And on second thoughts, I’ll stick with Bharat’s Badmashes. Hopefully, so will the team selection. Over to good Friday.
How would it feel to switch loyalties before the final test match at Kanpur? That is, to spell the betrayal in words, become a South African supporter.
For one, you will cease to be part of cult support groups like the wonder bra camp, the Aussie Fanatics, English Barmy Army, Bharat Army, Chachcha ki fauj (Pakistani) or the Anonymous fan club that supports Sri Lankan, West Indies, New Zealand, Bangladeshi and Sehwag’s cricket.
By supporting South African cricket you will enter the realms of many World Cup knockouts that the Proteas lost, which on form they should have won.
But at Kanpur there won’t be any Duckworth Lewis equation to cause their downfall.
Also Alan Donald, Shaun Pollock and Lance Klusener don’t play the national side anymore.
Klusener however, is still pivotal in losing lost-games that he nearly wins – now for his ICL Club, the Kolkotta Tigers. But that’s Klusener for you. The nearly there man. Mr. Almost. Master Stop short!
Of course, baby faced Boucher the mathematician is still there. He’s partly the D/L man that got some vital statistics wrong. May be he overlooked the fine print next to an Asterix. And though he helped chase down a record 400 odd versus Australia, some demons never leave you.
Then there is Jacque Kallis. He’s been there. But somehow you don’t quite remember him from those worst of times that could have been the best of times.
It’s usually the beaten down faces of Cronje, Pollock, Klusener, Boucher, Gibbs. Right Gibbs isn’t there either, so that’s one choker less, whose droppings drop world cups no less.
But look back a few months, and the choking spirit is still intact. Graeme Smith and his not so merry men mucked up that World Cup twenty20 game against yours untruly, India.
That time though, there was no Kallis. And Smith went blue in the face when asked if they were, “Jaqued” without Kallis.
Kanpur though, is no T20 or one-day world cup game. It’s a test match of far less interest. The stakes, if any, are not Bollywoodesque . The IPL is round the corner. The iconic Indians will do their gig then.
If you are a punter, then it’s South Afrikaaa!
If you are India, for once in the series you should think team selection – ask yourself, what irks the South Africans most - Australians and leg spinners? So even if you can’t play Shane Warne and Rickie Ponting – what’s the next best irritation?
Piyush Chawla and your cockiest batsman. Attention: Yuvraj Singh. It’s the last test of a home series. Come on over for a second helping.
More than beating a winning team, the South Africans can’t beat a winning attitude.
And on second thoughts, I’ll stick with Bharat’s Badmashes. Hopefully, so will the team selection. Over to good Friday.
March 17, 2008
Mad Angles.
Mad Angles.
Appeared in the Hindustan Times on 25th March, 2008
Whilst shaving sharply, Sweeney Todd, the demon barber of Fleet Street, can appear within: look your mirror-eye in the eye, slide that razor down in a single clean swoop, and you can be Sweeneyed too. It’s that look: Take no prisoners. Give no quarter. Whatever will be, will be…
The demon barber, often no different from the unrepentant twenty20 bully – be he from the ICL, IPL, English leagues or from 20,000 leagues under the sea. A Killer Whale of a time anyone?
They are at heart all the same: heartless. They will plunder bowlers as if they were wealthy Indian provinces from the medieval ages. Paradoxically, a T20 player’s innings is fleeting, almost butterfly-like, but far from pretty.
Most shots are on, barring the scoop over short fine leg. That comes with a lifetime of Misbah-ul-Haq’s baggage. But lighten up, it’s T20 - anything goes, and everything has to go. Even Misbah says so, for he’s had other baggage these days, from not being picked first shot at the T20 auctions to that “look, I can ballet” run-out versus India in a test. $125,000 later, is Misbah happy? Or do MBAs have their own twenty20 standards?
But what about cricket’s brand names: too standard? Why twenty20? Why not Six and out? Or Kamikaze. Or even Quickie. Take test cricket. Ok, don’t. Consider one-day cricket. Better than Fifty50? However, T20 sure has a ring to it - almost like T2 –terminator II, the avenging angel.
A vendetta ridden warrior prince, is that the prerequisite for a past master T20 player? Yuvraj Singh hurled Chris Broad abroad for 6X6, after Mascarenhas took him for 5X6. Result: Even better than any 4X4.
Yuvraj is by far, the world’s premier T20 player today. He’s also a very emotionally charged battery. A Duracel bunny, if you please–best left unplugged. Last thing the opposition needs is to get under his collar. Leave that to the lasses. In his neck of the woods, men are Mafiosi movie stars: with v for vendetta vitriol in their veins. They ride Bullets. Mess with them and you mess with the family.
But does every player need a little tickle that fires the imagination – and then backfires, smack into the tickler’s face? Try calling Sachin, elephant - in the wild or in a room. He’ll go smash two ODI finals into oblivion. More than twice the wash-load of a T20 game but very much the desired impact: Dho dala, or taken to the cleaners. A provocation has the desired effect in any language. So, don’t mind your language.
And still they’re talking about putting a lid on sledging, on the field, in the press. What will cricket’s song be- “when the saints go marching in” Err? Not quite human, is it?
In a way, T20 cricket has masala, solid Indian spice to it. Came from England, but so did chicken tikka masala - and you know what inspired that. T20 too, is inspired by the Indian landscape, of Bollywood’s tried, tested, and often testing revenge and relief theme. Yet it works. And almost always plays to packed houses spilleth over. Took Gavaskar to say that, “Hindi films are made by asses for masses”
T20, bees saal baad (20 years too late?), but in time to sign up at R.K. Studios. Another Karz? Om Shanti Om? It’s the remix. DJ is in the dugout. Item girls in the open.
Now, if T20 can somehow capture the energy of an edgy test, then we’re on to something. And though there are just too many nationalities adrift in both the Indian leagues – you’d be mistaken to think, it’s the United Nations; hope they don’t get as diplomatic.
Instead, get in the face, in the farce. Think WWF, hopefully without “the con of man”. Think “The Da Vinci Code” sans the Latin. Think that in spite of critical reviews, hits happen.
E&OE
December 22, 2007
A “Heir Raising” story.
To accommodate Indian cricket’s burgeoning list of stars, often a player must pay the price. Ironically sometimes even in the same person, star glitter outshines player value. A stray thought: when it’s all over, will these stars perform in Las Vegas? Will they make it to the OSO guest-list-song remix? Or will they, no, can they settle for the humdrum of a commentary box – where the only play is a turn of phrase, a play of words.
Such is the stature of some Indian cricketers, that it’s not unreasonable to expect a trail of comebacks from them – who knows one day they may even play sporting Big B’s trademark white goatee. Of course, Vinod Kambli has one. Though he hasn’t played in a while.
Beards aside, it’s a hair-raising thought how some players must deal with success, and even answer for it. Often, a strut is mistaken for arrogance, acrobats at point for showmanship, lightheartedness as immaturity, prized Porsches as God-knows-what.
But should success in the shorter version work against a player’s ability in test matches? Flipping the argument, are T20 and ODI heroics a barometer for test adaptability? It’s all up to Yuvraj Singh. He can either end the argument in Australia or leave the debate wide open.
Right now however, the debate rages on: Whether the sheer power of personality, many outstanding T20 and ODI innings and one exceptional test hundred warrant a review of India’s test openers?
While India’s middle order is sacrosanct, the openers are expendable. Had Sunil Gavaskar played his cricket now, he too would’ve been better off in the middle order. Until a tough tour to Australia may have forced him to open – to accommodate a promising middle order player. Of course, that would have cost one of the openers their spot – or maybe the opener would’ve walked into a tree and bruised his shoulder. It hurts being an Indian opener.
Going by the solitary warm-up game versus Victoria, Rahul Dravid, India’s mainstay at number three looks likely to open with Wasim Jaffer in the Melbourne test. This will, as even every cricket ignoramus knows, accommodate the heir apparent, Yuvraj Singh. Pardon the pun, but this can be a “Heir Raising” move – and put India’s future test vice captain, and possible captain in his place – the test team. After all, it’s tough being captain when you can’t make the team.
In the long run, can this prove to be a masterstroke? Going by the shrinking shelf life of Indian captains, and the topsy-turvy ways of our cricket in general, the team needs Yuvraj Singh in the test mix – that is assuming he takes to test cricket like Yuvi took to T20. Look around, barring MS Dhoni there is no likely successor to Anil Kumble as test captain.
But it still defies logic for Rahul Dravid to open the innings. If anything, Yuvraj’s place should be at the cost of another middle order batsman – a player, not a superstar? Cruel yet the lesser of the two evils - as today, both Tendulkar and Ganguly are untouchable. Ideally VVS Laxman should play, but not at the cost of Dravid opening, but as a middle order bat instead of Yuvraj Singh. But then, Indian cricket is far from ideal; on the contrary it’s replete with contradictions.
Of course, going by Dinesh Karthik’s and Virender Sewhag’s uncertain form off late, neither make compelling choices to partner Wasim Jaffer – which makes it obvious that both players are fallback options in case of an eventuality, like one of the openers/other batsmen injuring themselves or rather, Brett Lee or Shaun Tait doing the honours. Had India planned ahead, Sehwag could have played, even opened in the third test versus Pakistan – runs were to be had, bowlers to be bullied, confidence to be gained. Yuvraj will vouch for that.
Rahul Dravid opening plus Yuvraj Singh and VVS Laxman in the same eleven is possible because of 1) VVS’ good form through the last few series 2) Ganguly and Jaffer scoring heavily 3) Dinesh Karthik’s below par Pak series. For now, everyone is happy. India’s latest darling, Yuvi is almost certainly in. As is the fall guy, and fallback man, VVS Laxman. So, are the big names that make the grand tally of 30,000 test runs as Anil Kumble reminds us. It doesn’t matter who plays where, as long as they all play!
Crucially, Dravid mentioned the ten-minute changeover between test innings – the bane of opening batsmen. Even if Dravid is accustomed to walk in early at the fall of the first wicket, it’s a far cry from being an opener. For one, as he says, “it’s a different mindset”. Whether it is for cricket or non-cricketing reasons, in the last few series, Dravid’s mindset seems to have changed. With a lean patch versus England and Pakistan not quite behind him, will the opening slot add further pressure? Or will it be yet another redemption song? With nearly 7500 runs (from 146 innings) at No. 3 at an average of over 57, compared to 369 runs (from 13innings) opening at an average of 33, picking slots is a no-brainer. But then that’s Indian cricket for you.
To accommodate Indian cricket’s burgeoning list of stars, often a player must pay the price. Ironically sometimes even in the same person, star glitter outshines player value. A stray thought: when it’s all over, will these stars perform in Las Vegas? Will they make it to the OSO guest-list-song remix? Or will they, no, can they settle for the humdrum of a commentary box – where the only play is a turn of phrase, a play of words.
Such is the stature of some Indian cricketers, that it’s not unreasonable to expect a trail of comebacks from them – who knows one day they may even play sporting Big B’s trademark white goatee. Of course, Vinod Kambli has one. Though he hasn’t played in a while.
Beards aside, it’s a hair-raising thought how some players must deal with success, and even answer for it. Often, a strut is mistaken for arrogance, acrobats at point for showmanship, lightheartedness as immaturity, prized Porsches as God-knows-what.
But should success in the shorter version work against a player’s ability in test matches? Flipping the argument, are T20 and ODI heroics a barometer for test adaptability? It’s all up to Yuvraj Singh. He can either end the argument in Australia or leave the debate wide open.
Right now however, the debate rages on: Whether the sheer power of personality, many outstanding T20 and ODI innings and one exceptional test hundred warrant a review of India’s test openers?
While India’s middle order is sacrosanct, the openers are expendable. Had Sunil Gavaskar played his cricket now, he too would’ve been better off in the middle order. Until a tough tour to Australia may have forced him to open – to accommodate a promising middle order player. Of course, that would have cost one of the openers their spot – or maybe the opener would’ve walked into a tree and bruised his shoulder. It hurts being an Indian opener.
Going by the solitary warm-up game versus Victoria, Rahul Dravid, India’s mainstay at number three looks likely to open with Wasim Jaffer in the Melbourne test. This will, as even every cricket ignoramus knows, accommodate the heir apparent, Yuvraj Singh. Pardon the pun, but this can be a “Heir Raising” move – and put India’s future test vice captain, and possible captain in his place – the test team. After all, it’s tough being captain when you can’t make the team.
In the long run, can this prove to be a masterstroke? Going by the shrinking shelf life of Indian captains, and the topsy-turvy ways of our cricket in general, the team needs Yuvraj Singh in the test mix – that is assuming he takes to test cricket like Yuvi took to T20. Look around, barring MS Dhoni there is no likely successor to Anil Kumble as test captain.
But it still defies logic for Rahul Dravid to open the innings. If anything, Yuvraj’s place should be at the cost of another middle order batsman – a player, not a superstar? Cruel yet the lesser of the two evils - as today, both Tendulkar and Ganguly are untouchable. Ideally VVS Laxman should play, but not at the cost of Dravid opening, but as a middle order bat instead of Yuvraj Singh. But then, Indian cricket is far from ideal; on the contrary it’s replete with contradictions.
Of course, going by Dinesh Karthik’s and Virender Sewhag’s uncertain form off late, neither make compelling choices to partner Wasim Jaffer – which makes it obvious that both players are fallback options in case of an eventuality, like one of the openers/other batsmen injuring themselves or rather, Brett Lee or Shaun Tait doing the honours. Had India planned ahead, Sehwag could have played, even opened in the third test versus Pakistan – runs were to be had, bowlers to be bullied, confidence to be gained. Yuvraj will vouch for that.
Rahul Dravid opening plus Yuvraj Singh and VVS Laxman in the same eleven is possible because of 1) VVS’ good form through the last few series 2) Ganguly and Jaffer scoring heavily 3) Dinesh Karthik’s below par Pak series. For now, everyone is happy. India’s latest darling, Yuvi is almost certainly in. As is the fall guy, and fallback man, VVS Laxman. So, are the big names that make the grand tally of 30,000 test runs as Anil Kumble reminds us. It doesn’t matter who plays where, as long as they all play!
Crucially, Dravid mentioned the ten-minute changeover between test innings – the bane of opening batsmen. Even if Dravid is accustomed to walk in early at the fall of the first wicket, it’s a far cry from being an opener. For one, as he says, “it’s a different mindset”. Whether it is for cricket or non-cricketing reasons, in the last few series, Dravid’s mindset seems to have changed. With a lean patch versus England and Pakistan not quite behind him, will the opening slot add further pressure? Or will it be yet another redemption song? With nearly 7500 runs (from 146 innings) at No. 3 at an average of over 57, compared to 369 runs (from 13innings) opening at an average of 33, picking slots is a no-brainer. But then that’s Indian cricket for you.
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