July 25, 2008

How do you solve a problem like Viru?

You cannot fault Virender Sehwag for the shot he played. After all, Sehwag had, after a long time found acceptance.

And that doesn’t sit naturally on Sehwag’s itchy shoulders. So, when one went well over those itchy shoulders, it was natural for him to reach it – even if it was nigh unreachable.

Never mind that he had just hit five 4s, 25 off 15 before that. He had already had his fifteen minutes of fame. Twenty three to be precise. That’s a lot of labour for the newly appointed vice captain.

And who is Kulasekara to bounce him out –he’ll have to go. Dismissed from sight.

Instead Sehwag is dismissed.

It may just be one shot by one player in one innings - and there’s still plenty in the series to play for, but this one shot, perhaps defines Sehwag’s low grasp of cricketing high points.

Even before India batted, it was obvious that the Indian openers would define this test – whether it would be a draw or a defeat.
Whether it is the Delhi Daredevils, the India T20, ODI or test team, Sehwag has it in him to define an innings.

By some strange coincidence, he also has it in him, to scar beyond recognition, not only the bowling attack, but the course an Indian innings takes.

Post Sehwag, often, an Indian innings caves in so fast, you’d think, there goes the Pied Piper, and with him the rats.

But why does Sehwag do so repeatedly? The evening walk down to Ajantha Mendis in the Asia Cup finals still stinks. There, he had the bowling by the unmentionables, as now – both times he presses the “I am too sexy” for your bowling button, and vamooses off.

Is it that Sehwag feels it beneath himself to be figured out by a bowler? So, even if he is at the peak of his anarchic powers, he must disfigure his innings. All by himself.

Is Sehwag’s way a ten way highway video game, where he only overtakes - from the left, from the right, and if need be, from the top –like that unreachable ball from some bloke called Kulasekara who’s barely played four tests.

The image stays with you. Sehwag playing that samurai sword slicing through air shot. And you know, it’s that bad old Kamikaze trick again.

How do you solve a problem like Viru?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Viru?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Viru?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

22 comments:

vmminerva said...

:) What an apt use of the song from The Sound of Music, Gaurav! Yes, "the Pied Piper and the rats" indeed. How do you teach him? That seems to be an unanswerable question at the moment. Though, I think it would help if he bats with Tendulkar/Dravid or Laxman, but the problem is he is often the first to fall.

Naked Cricket said...

vmm, who will srt, rd, vvs bat with - their memories? Oh hell, it's just another first test of a series. Cricket virgins, every single time.

Ottayan said...

NC,

To me Viru is one part of the question. The other part is why do the Fab 3 repeatedly collapse in a heap?

RS said...

I think with Sehwag, we just have to take the bad with the good. He is not quite as bad as Afridi (and rewards are greater). Viru can be more circumspect, but will he lose his edge in that attempt?

Naked Cricket said...

ott, Viru's time is now. only, he doesn't know or care.

Naked Cricket said...

rs, sehwag has few backers in the media or the board. dravid backed him bigtime, in spite of himself. won't take much for viru to vanish again.

can see him all circumspect in the 2nd inn, even getn out tamely - first slip? After that hook, he may not play another one all series.

Straight Point said...

india c sachin b sehwag

the wall is definitely crumbling and on current form he correct no. is 6 with vvs coming at 3...

sachins was the most soft dismissal given that how comfortable he looked till his dismissal...

DK pack you bags and look for job...

and to sehwag...to hell with his 2 300s scores...i would have given him so hard spanking that for (at least) rest of this series he would have one hand covering one side of his face...

Naked Cricket said...

SP: Post lunch we'll know. Suspect Kirsten is a beliver in each man to his positions, so if he prevails it'll be RD. If the core group has it's say, then VVS. Reckon India's opening with GG and not DK because of Kirsten.
Think it should be VVS tho. Even in the 1st inn.

DK looks like he wants to be back home with his teddy.

commentary was soft too, on srt's dismissal.

Straight Point said...

so vvs has walked out to his deserving position no. 3...

regarding sachins more than his dismissal i was surprised by how commentators (as you pointed too) said everything but truth that his shot(?) was just behind sehwags and dks if not equally bad...

but guess few dares to say and write (hee hee he) against him...

Naked Cricket said...

should've heard A Lal moan in the replay, so unfortunate.
SP - often wondered, when they did the various IPL stats, never did i see any mention of SRT. was i missing something or was i missing something

Straight Point said...

you didnt missed anything...only they have...their guts i.e.

moving on...

vvs at no. 3 is good two fold...if wickets falls (of sehwag or gg's) he provides stability as well as keep the scoring relatively at same pace...which dravid is failing to do repeatedly...

his strike rate had been very poor of late and or innings almost gets stuck going nowhere...which puts pressure on other batsmen...

earlier he used to get out of this by playing long innings but now that too are far in between which is not helping us much...

though i fear than VM may come and blast me out of here ;-))

UTP said...

it was Mendis & Murali...the batsmen were not prepared...for the magic...that's all...

Naked Cricket said...

rd and vvs foxed by mendis twice. shame that sehwag never played mendis for a prolonged period, that would have been a riot. instead thought himself immortal. but he was mental.

I doubt VM will do anything like that.

Naked Cricket said...

utp -more like black magic, with voodoo dolls being pierced. no guesses where

vmminerva said...

@NC, strange how this happens regularly in almost all the first Tests in a series. Then they will win one, and we will rave and all will be well again.

@SP :), I don't understand what has happened to RD. We don't want to see him like this. Perhaps he and Kumble haven't gotten out of the BRC beating. Though I had earlier suggested that VVS at 3 and RD at 5 might be good, VVS caved.

Naked Cricket said...

vm - this was bad, there's nuthin india's got outta this test. and when they bat next in the 2nd test, it could well be in the same frame of mind as the 4th morn of the 1st test. talk abt travelling demons.

rd's last waltz is a limp, and that's sad.

Q said...

U dont solve someone like Sehwag, u let him be... He averages over 50... he's got 2 triples... he will fail on some days.. thats him... let him be..

Naked Cricket said...

asia cup final, this first test, as also the series outcome, depends on sehwag's success - if he hasn't figured that yet, then what you say. in every team's life, at any time, there's always one player who is in the zone - once it was sachin, then laxman, dravid, now it's sewhag.

He needs to solve his own problems.

Bhaskar Khaund said...

My two paisa : you don't. Or rather , you can't. Thats the guy , thats the way he plays and thats the way he'll always play. In the context of this game , i dont think it would have mattered anyway. Sooner or later , Murali or Mendis would have snapped him too. He's OK , the team is OK. The Big Four are OK. The hype is hardly their fault after all. The machinery's put them on a pedestal they do not belong on. They didnt ask to be put there ! As i keep saying , its an average-to- mediocre team that have their moments both sides of average. If there's one concern i'd voice , its the bowling.Its scary we have NO ONE - Ishant is the only potential and that is that. Any of these N seamers performing in bowler-favorable conditions doesnt count.Its the strength of the weakest link that matters - i.e. the extent of impotence on flat subcon.tracks. We have no one that even approaches ,say , a Vaas by that yardstick. In comparison , if you followed the indian media it was as through the likes of Ishant , RPS and Praveen Kumar (!)were redefining the face of fast bowling in cricketing history. That Nursing Home Khan is our spearhead says it all.As for Harbhajan , the man needs to be vanished from the scene - the sooner the better for all concerned. Jeeze , this is more a post than a comment - apologies - no matter how much you think you have reactions under check and in control , post match vent is as uncontrollable as Viru i guess ! :-) - cheers

Naked Cricket said...

bji: re: sehwag, sure nobody can, maybe even he can't, but if he isn't smart enough to decode the self destruct button, he won't play test cricket for long. he has fewer friends than even dravid, and doesn't belong to any group -at least it appears so. Another bad run, and he's history - atleast from tests. Bad bit is, his shot selection makes a bad ass argument against him. While the Srs prod and get bowled, nobody cares.

frankly, he's the only reason to watch india play tests.
i don't know about how he would've played m n m, am still waiting.

Averge is right, just like world cricket today. The bowling, let's not even get into that.

scorpicity said...

NC... there will be many in Pakistan eagerly looking at your post and comments for answers... sigh... Afridi.

but of course Afridi is no viru. No booze, no smoke, vinegar, hooch arrack can figure these two.

Naked Cricket said...

scorpi, in a previous encounter, appeared kirsten had prevailed on viru's sehwagness albeit for a few overs.

i'm curious abt his pet quote from the ipl "when it's my day nobody can stop me" be fun to have him psycho analysed.