It’s taken me the best of two days to pin down who Rohit Sharma reminds me of: Ijaz Ahmed, the neighbourhood butcher. Ijaz was bad news for India, and Rohit, until the twin hundreds struck his fancy was no different. But more than those lame comparisons, I think it’s the languid, heavy way of the players. And then of course, those eyebrows, and though I’ve not looked into either Ijaz’s or Rohit’s eyes, there is something there.
But what is it they say, that lazy elegance, in the case of Ijaz it was lazy-antithesis of elegance, and with Rohit I still can’t say.
On Bored: Nohit Sharma
May 31, 2010
May 28, 2010
The Dance
Did you see those Zim kids’ dance? They kept patting their hearts, that was the groove. Then there was another kid who patted his shoulder. If Zimbabweans can dance like that, their batsmen gotta use their feet more often, just like they did today.
India’s openers were stuck within the crease lines, like it was some Laxman rekha drawn by MSD (which they could only leave once he returned). Vijay left the lines, naturally he got run-out.
And did you see the kids’ dance? The little black kid with the big eyes in the oversized pullover – there is something to Zim cricket when they win, their people get happy like they wanna embrace what happy is. It’s beautiful, really is.
On Bored: Amit Mishra fast catching up with Bhajji
India’s openers were stuck within the crease lines, like it was some Laxman rekha drawn by MSD (which they could only leave once he returned). Vijay left the lines, naturally he got run-out.
And did you see the kids’ dance? The little black kid with the big eyes in the oversized pullover – there is something to Zim cricket when they win, their people get happy like they wanna embrace what happy is. It’s beautiful, really is.
On Bored: Amit Mishra fast catching up with Bhajji
May 25, 2010
Suresh Raina in fancy dress
I have always been a big fan of Roman generals like Russel Crowe in Gladiator!
On Bored: Raina's bizarre fielding drills
May 22, 2010
May 21, 2010
Sway
This wasn’t a game you invest an evening in, and feel bad about later. I invested 4 balls, and I’m feeling bad about it.
The beer glasses swayed, there was hope in them, the peoples felt there was a chance, they swayed. I stood, TV on mute, am on mute, swayed. There’s a chance. What was it 5 of 3? Gayle was still, but he swayed too, that bemused look, we can close it.
That’s the good part of the Windies, the hope, it lingers, it sways, in spite of the cricket. With 2 wickets, 12 of 6, Sammy could have been the man – it just wasn’t his match.
The Windies lost by one run. Botha should be the man of the match; made some runs, got that Pollard’s wicket (if you can bowl slow, call yourself a spinner, you will too).
And I listen to Sway now.
The beer glasses swayed, there was hope in them, the peoples felt there was a chance, they swayed. I stood, TV on mute, am on mute, swayed. There’s a chance. What was it 5 of 3? Gayle was still, but he swayed too, that bemused look, we can close it.
That’s the good part of the Windies, the hope, it lingers, it sways, in spite of the cricket. With 2 wickets, 12 of 6, Sammy could have been the man – it just wasn’t his match.
The Windies lost by one run. Botha should be the man of the match; made some runs, got that Pollard’s wicket (if you can bowl slow, call yourself a spinner, you will too).
And I listen to Sway now.
May 19, 2010
What the devil got into India
There are teams you know should lose, because they’re determined to – The Daredevils picked badly, (no leggie Ladda or quick-gun Umesh Yadav in most games). Instead they picked on old cracked up reputations and shifty firangs. DD was blind to the obvious – both Yadav and Ladda had enough to play most games. Instead they packed the team with part-timers, who could both cook and wash, but the food wasn't tasty and the plates weren't clean.
Ditto India. No Mishra, no Ojha, and no visa for Umesh Yadav. But loads of guys who can cook and wash, but...
Between BossDK and Gambhir, they made some astonishing calls as captain. If you probe deep enough, they’re worthy of nut-case studies. MSD matched them toss for toss – he did enough to play for DD next season. There are theories that BossDK had inhabited MSD, but then there are also theories that GG had...
There’s more, but both the IPL and the T20 Cup are a long way off. And if they didn’t care, why should we? Let’s leave this post incomplete, like they left...
On Bored: The Daredevil Touch
Ditto India. No Mishra, no Ojha, and no visa for Umesh Yadav. But loads of guys who can cook and wash, but...
Between BossDK and Gambhir, they made some astonishing calls as captain. If you probe deep enough, they’re worthy of nut-case studies. MSD matched them toss for toss – he did enough to play for DD next season. There are theories that BossDK had inhabited MSD, but then there are also theories that GG had...
There’s more, but both the IPL and the T20 Cup are a long way off. And if they didn’t care, why should we? Let’s leave this post incomplete, like they left...
On Bored: The Daredevil Touch
No #
The IPL had #IPL. That you can never take away from it. What did the ICC World Twenty20 have?
#WorldT20? No way. You wanna tweet or write a book. T20WC, that’s toilet and you know it. T20WorldCup, too long. I’m not even sure we agreed on a # for this tournament.
Most times, most of us dumped the #. It wasn’t A grade # anyway. Next time whenever the ICC decides to have the short tournament with the long name, work some on the branding.
Make people talk about it. Ok, it doesn’t have to be short, something memorable will do – Sidebottom? You never know what you stumble on with an open mind – the ICC could just call the ICC League – IL, they’re sick, and if they play it in Chicago winter, so will everyone else be.
On Bored: What is a Show Cause Notice?
#WorldT20? No way. You wanna tweet or write a book. T20WC, that’s toilet and you know it. T20WorldCup, too long. I’m not even sure we agreed on a # for this tournament.
Most times, most of us dumped the #. It wasn’t A grade # anyway. Next time whenever the ICC decides to have the short tournament with the long name, work some on the branding.
Make people talk about it. Ok, it doesn’t have to be short, something memorable will do – Sidebottom? You never know what you stumble on with an open mind – the ICC could just call the ICC League – IL, they’re sick, and if they play it in Chicago winter, so will everyone else be.
On Bored: What is a Show Cause Notice?
May 15, 2010
Spare a thought for Saeed Ajmal.
In the happiest of times, Ajmal looks sad. Must be those eyebrows, there’s irony and grief written there – what use it winning all those games, when I must bowl the losing over. In that last over, those eyebrows became a river continuously changing its course.
After his 18th over, I really felt for him – I dreaded what the 20th may do to him or his eyebrows. I tweeted - Really wonder how Ajmal’s eyebrows will hold up in the 20th - anything less than 15 will be game on. What I meant was anything less than 20, but that sounded too gimmicky, what with twenty20 and 20th over, so I made it 15.
And even though 17 is less than 15, Ajmal knew what I knew – that Hussey fellah will even get 42 in this over if he has to – he will force me to bowl no balls, wides, bad balls.
He also knew, if he tied the game, they will force him to bowl the super over – he just had to end it there, for his own good, and that of his eyebrows.
Did you know, Ajmal was the last one to get on the team bus, and he sat all alone in the last seat. He tossed the ball a few times, and said, this is not salad – how can I keep tossing it?
Oh, these last overs, they can screw you.
After his 18th over, I really felt for him – I dreaded what the 20th may do to him or his eyebrows. I tweeted - Really wonder how Ajmal’s eyebrows will hold up in the 20th - anything less than 15 will be game on. What I meant was anything less than 20, but that sounded too gimmicky, what with twenty20 and 20th over, so I made it 15.
And even though 17 is less than 15, Ajmal knew what I knew – that Hussey fellah will even get 42 in this over if he has to – he will force me to bowl no balls, wides, bad balls.
He also knew, if he tied the game, they will force him to bowl the super over – he just had to end it there, for his own good, and that of his eyebrows.
Did you know, Ajmal was the last one to get on the team bus, and he sat all alone in the last seat. He tossed the ball a few times, and said, this is not salad – how can I keep tossing it?
Oh, these last overs, they can screw you.
May 14, 2010
May 12, 2010
Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
1. Because Australia was going to anyway. They played Steven Smith. What did Smith do – he did Pollard.
A few weeks back in the IPL, one anonymous leg spinner, a guy called, whatshisname Ladda was picked by the defending semi finalists, Delhi Daredevils. He bowled his first over of the match, the 18th – to Pollard. Pollard miss-timed a few but got them over the ropes anyway. Ladda did not bowl the 20th.
That was Gambhir’s captaincy. Something that’s rubbed off Dhoni. Gambhir at least bowls Mishra, Dhoni rather bowl batsmen.
2. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
This was not the Hero Cup, this was the Losers’ Cup and India had to defend their early exit in the last edition – that was no fluke.
3. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
Anil Kumble and Hirwani have retired.
4. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
Piyush Chawla refused to have his head bandaged – not like Kumble who had an open mind, head…
5. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
Refer to 1. If India played a leggie, that would prepare the Windies for the Aussie game, and for India to advance to the semis it was imperative that Australia beat the Windies.
Steven Smith was Man of the match
6. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
It was wrong enough to pick Chawla to play him would have been wronger
7. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
At 21 years, 139 days, international debut more than 4 years’ back, long periods out of the team, Chawla is jaded and not the bowler he once was – whereas Smith, 20 years 344 days, made his debut earlier this year. He’s a farm fresh leg spinner, not even the Windies' videos know how to play him.
8. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
Beats me, and it beats India too.
On Bored: India is over and out of the World Twenty20 + MSD: Mahi, Sex aur Dhoka
12.3 85.9 kph, gone! Lovely piece of bowling from Smith, he's turned the ball just past the bat of Pollard, who is trying to get forward and work through leg, and Haddin whips the bails off, no need for the third umpire there 77/6
A few weeks back in the IPL, one anonymous leg spinner, a guy called, whatshisname Ladda was picked by the defending semi finalists, Delhi Daredevils. He bowled his first over of the match, the 18th – to Pollard. Pollard miss-timed a few but got them over the ropes anyway. Ladda did not bowl the 20th.
That was Gambhir’s captaincy. Something that’s rubbed off Dhoni. Gambhir at least bowls Mishra, Dhoni rather bowl batsmen.
2. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
This was not the Hero Cup, this was the Losers’ Cup and India had to defend their early exit in the last edition – that was no fluke.
3. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
Anil Kumble and Hirwani have retired.
4. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
Piyush Chawla refused to have his head bandaged – not like Kumble who had an open mind, head…
5. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
Refer to 1. If India played a leggie, that would prepare the Windies for the Aussie game, and for India to advance to the semis it was imperative that Australia beat the Windies.
12.4 85.6 kph, first ball! Smith is on a hat-trick! Tossed up on leg and turning back to off, Sammy has gone for the drive but straight back to the bowler, who takes a good catch 77/7
Steven Smith was Man of the match
6. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
It was wrong enough to pick Chawla to play him would have been wronger
7. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
At 21 years, 139 days, international debut more than 4 years’ back, long periods out of the team, Chawla is jaded and not the bowler he once was – whereas Smith, 20 years 344 days, made his debut earlier this year. He’s a farm fresh leg spinner, not even the Windies' videos know how to play him.
8. Why India did not play a leg spinner against the West Indies
Beats me, and it beats India too.
On Bored: India is over and out of the World Twenty20 + MSD: Mahi, Sex aur Dhoka
May 10, 2010
May 07, 2010
Little Lalit
You arrogant little twerp, how dare you start
your own exam league for English students??
your own exam league for English students??
little lalit - a new strip
LALIT was once little lalit, in lowercase just like you and me. What was life like then - gonna have a look in little lalit. A new strip here at naked cricket.
May 04, 2010
Guten Morgan & Arg Duckworth-Lewis*
When Eoin Morgan went wonky with his reverse sweeps, Paul Collingwood got all giggly ‘n’ girlie. It was funny alright. I have never seen Collingwood look amused. That he doesn’t have a sense of humour is obvious. But in spite of that he can giggle. For me that was the high point of the game.
Morgan has this effect on people. Though I wasn’t sitting in a dugout, I did look sideways, and smile. I am convinced, one day, soon, Morgan will manipulate the rules, uproot a stump and hit the ball for six. He will start a new cult, and though it should be called Nagrom Nioe (Eoin Morgan spelt in reverse), he won’t have it any other way – that Modi guy, he’ll uproot the idea and call it something far more accessible – Second-Base Ball. The commentators will crack jokes on the lines of, hey, are you on second base, already? Ready to play ball? But that is Modi’s mantra, and not Morgan’s.
Coming back to Morgan, Colly, and how good it looked at 191. This is why they should have stump mikes in the dugout, so we could have heard Colly get all smug.
And then capture the scene after Duckworth-Lewis pissed on their parade. It would’ve made excellent cinema, the classic before-after ad. Colly glad man, Colly mad man.
Look at the bright side, thanks to the damn D/L method, at least we have something to talk about in this highly intellectual ICC World Twenty20. Can’t they have a rule where the players wear specks and look all geeky – that way we’ll know it’s serious sport.
As for D/L, you guys actually get paid for this?
* If you’re wondering why the headline’s in a foreign language, don’t – it’s just that D/L method
On Bored: Duckworth Lewis + The Mahi-meter
Morgan has this effect on people. Though I wasn’t sitting in a dugout, I did look sideways, and smile. I am convinced, one day, soon, Morgan will manipulate the rules, uproot a stump and hit the ball for six. He will start a new cult, and though it should be called Nagrom Nioe (Eoin Morgan spelt in reverse), he won’t have it any other way – that Modi guy, he’ll uproot the idea and call it something far more accessible – Second-Base Ball. The commentators will crack jokes on the lines of, hey, are you on second base, already? Ready to play ball? But that is Modi’s mantra, and not Morgan’s.
Coming back to Morgan, Colly, and how good it looked at 191. This is why they should have stump mikes in the dugout, so we could have heard Colly get all smug.
And then capture the scene after Duckworth-Lewis pissed on their parade. It would’ve made excellent cinema, the classic before-after ad. Colly glad man, Colly mad man.
Look at the bright side, thanks to the damn D/L method, at least we have something to talk about in this highly intellectual ICC World Twenty20. Can’t they have a rule where the players wear specks and look all geeky – that way we’ll know it’s serious sport.
As for D/L, you guys actually get paid for this?
* If you’re wondering why the headline’s in a foreign language, don’t – it’s just that D/L method
On Bored: Duckworth Lewis + The Mahi-meter
May 01, 2010
A big know-know: India in the World T20.
There is no RP Singh, ominous for India’s opponents. Also, Irfan Pathan will not bowl the last over, so you can’t afford to have anything more than 16 to get in the 20th. And the freebies in the super-overs sans Ishant Sharma, not going to be the same. Also Ishant hasn’t spoken to any of the youngsters (they’re older than him), so the semi-quicks will not carry with them the burden of Ishant’s youth.
Angry young man Gambhir will open the batting, and running with him will be rough. Dravid’s not there, so after Gambhir, there will not be anyone to keep up the high standard of aimless running between the wickets. India’s opponents will have to be on their toes, a few wickets could be gifted through idiotic running, but after Gambhir they’re pretty much on their own. Even taking Gambhir’s wicket for granted could be perilous, his bad run could well be a no-show, as in, he refuses to run.
If MS Dhoni is incapacitated (too much T20, takes a sabbatical) and Gambhir captains, India’s exit could be during the post toss interview, wherein Gambhir angers Afghanistan – calling them a dangerous side, or some such politically incorrect remark, mixing politics and cricket. Following which, Afghanistan does indeed become a dangerous side, rocket launchers for bowlers, guerrilla tactics in the field (fielders hiding behind boundary line hoardings appearing when least expected, snaring catches, blocking boundaries – as is the saying in Afghanistan, there are no boundaries…we like to seep into Pak and Iran and here and there (not quite the same when translated from Pushtoo, but that’s the gist).
Matters could worsen if Gambhir is unplayable too (banned) and BossDK takes over. Under him, the side will overachieve as nincompoops, following in his battered footsteps of derailed captaincy, keeping and batsmanship.
It could all go very wrong if Yusuf Pathan sticks to his international form, first ball duck coming. Rohit Sharma too would’ve snapped out of his IPL run, and will be all un-intense for the national squad. What about Raina, even he doesn’t know if he can resist the lures of midwicket.
But there’s Bhajji’s propaganda, Bhajji wielding Sachin’s bat, wanting to bat up the order, bowl up the order, field up the order, and cause general anarchy up the order – if all else fails, Bhajji will cheer you up. Zaks will make intense faces, become bowling captain, and urge overkill after a wicket. Praveen Kumar will bowl inane bouncers at 125 kmph. Piyush Chawla will make baby faces. Murali Vijay will always be grownup, always staring.
But there’s no Jatman. But it’s the T20 world cup, and he’s never there.
On Bored: Lalit Modi in the Carribean
Angry young man Gambhir will open the batting, and running with him will be rough. Dravid’s not there, so after Gambhir, there will not be anyone to keep up the high standard of aimless running between the wickets. India’s opponents will have to be on their toes, a few wickets could be gifted through idiotic running, but after Gambhir they’re pretty much on their own. Even taking Gambhir’s wicket for granted could be perilous, his bad run could well be a no-show, as in, he refuses to run.
If MS Dhoni is incapacitated (too much T20, takes a sabbatical) and Gambhir captains, India’s exit could be during the post toss interview, wherein Gambhir angers Afghanistan – calling them a dangerous side, or some such politically incorrect remark, mixing politics and cricket. Following which, Afghanistan does indeed become a dangerous side, rocket launchers for bowlers, guerrilla tactics in the field (fielders hiding behind boundary line hoardings appearing when least expected, snaring catches, blocking boundaries – as is the saying in Afghanistan, there are no boundaries…we like to seep into Pak and Iran and here and there (not quite the same when translated from Pushtoo, but that’s the gist).
Matters could worsen if Gambhir is unplayable too (banned) and BossDK takes over. Under him, the side will overachieve as nincompoops, following in his battered footsteps of derailed captaincy, keeping and batsmanship.
It could all go very wrong if Yusuf Pathan sticks to his international form, first ball duck coming. Rohit Sharma too would’ve snapped out of his IPL run, and will be all un-intense for the national squad. What about Raina, even he doesn’t know if he can resist the lures of midwicket.
But there’s Bhajji’s propaganda, Bhajji wielding Sachin’s bat, wanting to bat up the order, bowl up the order, field up the order, and cause general anarchy up the order – if all else fails, Bhajji will cheer you up. Zaks will make intense faces, become bowling captain, and urge overkill after a wicket. Praveen Kumar will bowl inane bouncers at 125 kmph. Piyush Chawla will make baby faces. Murali Vijay will always be grownup, always staring.
But there’s no Jatman. But it’s the T20 world cup, and he’s never there.
On Bored: Lalit Modi in the Carribean
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