How do you solve a brand like Viru?

We rue no more: This could be a temporary phase. It could last no more than a few days. Till the next innings, the next series, the next time India collapses and Virender Sehwag doesn’t do his bit with one of those big hundreds.

Not only that. While failing to score an utterly irresponsible test hundred, he may also play one of those audacious non-hooks that cause wads to be flashed in parliament.

Now Sehwag is no parliamentarian. And somehow he has never won the collective vote of the Indian mind, heart or press. Press will stop for cattle on the roads, but if ever Sehwag scores a triple hundred in the wrong time zone, expect the morning papers to only print his score at lunch. That is, if he made that hundred before lunch –like he’s been promising for ages.

Yet it is now clear that Sehwag not only merits more attention, he demands it, at least in cricketing circles – while this may not always include the mainstream media, advertisers or the girl brigade, being a niche brand has its advantages.

Canny advertisers will pick Sehwag before he falls into someone else’s lap. To think that his last ad casting of any note was Coke’s “Sehwag ke thande funde”(Sehwag’s cool rules) from another lifetime, shows how myopic the moneybags have been. If Sehwag’s appeal lies in nonchalant cool, more so in the North, then how did so many talcum powders, air conditioners, itch guards, give him the miss. Specially itch guards, which brings us to -

Sachin Tendulkar, the boy who always had an itch to scratch at the crease. He sold everything, even stuff that didn’t sell. To delve into Tendulkar’s brandscape is a complete thesis in itself. Sehwag took off as Sachin’s twin, and together they frolicked in the Boost commercial - cricket picnic on hanging rock. That was when Sachin was big, and Sehwag was to be the next big thing.

Moving on to Yuvraj Singh. Never a test regular but the fast food of Indian cricket. He had hair, a girlfriend and was plugged to the party circuit. He rocked as India rocked; more so with the new found knowhow that India did indeed rock. There was a never before brashness, Punjabi hip, “make way for the Indian” about him. It was cool to hang out with Yuvraj, even cooler to be associated with him. Yuvraj straddled two worlds, the play field and the dance floor. And he juggled both with élan. Yet Yuvraj was limited for obvious reasons, as was his cricket.

And then MS Dhoni was born. When, how, or from where are part of MSD lore now. And as he continues to play and not play, MSD’s legend grows, feeding on his every action, inaction. For starters he had more hair. Then he had more runs in a one-day innings than any wicket keeper. Then he became the top ranked ODI player, ODI captain, and before you knew it, everything started to happen, simultaneously. MSD was the “Hamara Bajaj” equivalent of a cricketer brand, and pulled it off with chutzpah. He even got away with a haircut.

No such luck for Sehwag. From the heir apparent to Rahul Dravid, he was soon hairless. Soon out of the team, out of the mind. Sehwag’s Mayur suiting ads also disappeared, and then the Twenty20 World Cup comeback – a few cameos later he was unfit for the finals. Next: a wild card entry for Australia. A new, improved Sehwag was back.

In a way Sehwag does with the bat what Yuvraj and Dhoni do in their ads. Yet the divide between perception and reality is huge – does anyone, off the field think Sehwag is cool?

Cool or not, he scores quicker than any cricketer on earth. And we’re not talking Little Miss Muffet 20s and 30s by Shahid Afridi here. We’re talking 200s, 300s, get the picture.

Surely some brands can enjoy a quickie with Sehwag: Quick Fix, Speed (high performance petrol), Fast Track watches. Basically brands that promise swiftness – how about Swift from Maruti Suzuki?

While this makes Sehwag somewhat one dimensional, it’s a definite start. The brand layers will come as savvy advertisers flesh the Viru Dada enigma out.

The makings of a brand are there. And the faster Sehwag’s people suss that out the better for Viru the cricketer. For, no amount of triple or double hundreds can secure his place in the squad. Fact is there are just too many sellable players in Indian cricket. And finally, that’s what adds fizz to a star player.

How do you solve a brand like Viru?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Viru?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a brand like Viru?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

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