April 26, 2010

You can count on Suresh Raina after you drop him twice.

Raina is keen. And MSD’s done well to back him, (even ahead of Nohit Sharma, imagine). The kid brings a simple cricketing intensity, there’s no side to him, no nakharas. He plays some hard cricket, loves his midwicket shots so much he forgets to play offside, loves his fielding, and doesn’t return favours, dropping catches.

When he bowls, holding back the delivery till he gauges the batsman’s movement till the last instant, you sense the masti Raina gets out of his cricket. When was the last time you saw that in an Indian cricketer – no tension, happy bowling, fielding, catching, batting.

Now you know why the twosome collectively spilled him, why Zaks dropped him. Raina is a lappa – when he’s not hitting the ball far, he’s hitting it high – it’s like aiming at a bird, a plane, superman, and marking them as the boundary.

Raina is the endearing little bully from the neighbourhood park – everybody knows he’s better than them, including him.

The IPL can be almost too easy for a player like Raina or Nohit or Yusuf – their abridged focus, some yaari-walli bowling, it’s tonk-tonk time.

While it’ll be great to see them go nuts in the T20 World Cup, these guys gotta extend their think-span overseas, and then who knows, a longer format. How ‘bout one-dayers to begin with?

On Bored: The Great Bored Scandal

April 24, 2010

Thank You Sachin!

If not for you, sky would fall, rain would gather too (Dylan) – if not for you, the 3rd and 4th place play-off would be big bore boss (Dhillon).

Look at your timing, Tendu – you were born on 24th April, not on 25th – had it been 25th, the Finals would’ve paled, but now, we will watch the 3rd-4th place play off for a glimpse of cheerleaders dressed in Sachin’s Birthday Cake costumes.

We will watch to hear Shastri and Sunny quiz us, whiz us on 20 years of the Little Master. If we’re lucky, Robin Jackman will retread the MRF blimp – make it the SRF blimp. The Sachin Rubber Factory…forefront of cricket technology…and did you know that Sachin wanted to be a pace bowler so he started the SRF Pace Academy…he once endorsed SRF on his bat, but he’s such a humble young man..he finally chose to discontinue it.

It does get a little much, doesn’t it – is that why Sachin’s so low-key? Being sucked up to all the time must hurt. Locker? Yeah, cut that cake in private, dude.


On Bored: Thank You Sachin series

cartoon cricket


click on cartoon to enlarge

April 08, 2010

Let’s give Shoiab Malik some space.

Not that he doesn’t have ample space between his ears, but it can’t be easy being Shoiab Malik - for one, you can’t refer to him by his first name, Shoaib, because that is reserved for Shoiab Akhtar; and you can’t refer to him as Malik, as that’s reserved for Salim Malik.

Now it’s bad enough being Shoaib Malik then to be mixed up with these two illustrious players – between the three of them they run the gamut of cricket buffoonery.

Just say it – look there comes Shoiab Akhtar Malik! Someone, something is bound to get fixed. If its Akhtar it’s himself, if it’s Malik that’s disputable.

But the cartoons on Bored, have been in bad taste, there’s very little about the cricket there. It’s more about Malik and Mirza, Shoaib and Sania.

Now for a moment if we were to talk about Malik’s cricket, captaincy; on second thoughts, never mind.

Sreesanth's problems traced to early childhood.

After the slap, the clap

You must be so fragile
You don’t have any guile
You’re just a pile of…fragile
You don’t get it
You were not supposed to play
Anything less than five days
It just got too compressed
And your head starts to explode
Poor you, poor you, poor you
Into such little time you were slotted
You could not process
You thought you was slapping them
You was clapping, you was
Poor you, poor you
This limited overs game can
Be so rough on your limited overs game

Soon you'll be freesanth, Sreesanth


On Bored: The trials and travails of Sreesanth, Freesanth

April 05, 2010

For David Warner.

David Warner is out of some cricket fairytale. He should be dressed like a Hobbit in big red shoes. The shoes should have little white wings that flap as he gallops from long off to long on to mid off to mid on. Where all does he field? Then again, how big is the field? Too bad the ropes are in, they just rein in Warner – that catch he referred, he would have walloped it with his mouth.

Yes, he can catch with his mouth. He has a tail tucked into his pants, he can catch with that too. And his hands, and his feet, he can catch them with his smile; with that twinkle in his eye.

Warner is a kid. His delight is kidlike, watch him. If you’ve grown too old for the game, watch him raise the catch, raise the ball – to you Delhi, to you Daredevils, to you NSW, to you Australia, to you cricket.

He can bat too. He can wait on the spinners, late, watch him play late. Watch him hurl bat on ball, ball into outer space, some extra terrestrial bound object.

And the first scene at short cover, snatch ball, smash stumps, run out. When you run out of reasons to watch the game, watch Warner. He’ll pull you in, like the runaway ball down long on.


On Bored: Does Warner warrant a song

April 01, 2010

The IPL Streaker.

With a bottle of Jack he took the field
Took the field, took the field
It wasn't a Chargers' game
But everyone around the Eastern stand said
Hey, is that Roy?!
Is that Roy? Is that Roy?
It wasn't Roy, it wasn't Roy

Everyone at the far Northern stand
had their doubts
they thought it was Herschelle
Hic Hicking away
They thought it was
Herschelle Hic Hicking away

But where he came
from the Western stands
The folks could so clearly see
It was none other than
An IPL Streaker

It was then announced that he will get
Entry free into all the games
The sponsors came thick and fast
A country song went national
It was called
The IPL Streaker song

And whenever he ventured on the field
It sang
With a bottle of Jack
He took the field
took the field, took the field
It wasn't a DC game
But everyone one thought...



On Bored: Cricket songs