What's your cricket story?

What’s your cricket story?
Are you Labour or are you Tory?
What’s your cricket story?
Are you John Major or are you minor?
Are you winner or you whiner?
What’s your cricket story?
Are you a highflyer or are you coalminer?
Are you a thumbprint or extravagant signer?
What’s your cricket story?
Are you a snacker or are you diner?
Are you lipstick or are you eyeliner?
What’s your cricket story?

It doesn’t matter who, why, when or what you are
Whether you’re rich or don’t drive a car
Whether you’re pretty or like Seal have a big scar
Whether you live in the open or love life in a jar

What’s your cricket story?
Is it lost or part of the glory?
What’s your cricket story?
Is it musical like Jethro Tull’s Bouree?
What’s your cricket story?
Was it conjured around a fire on Lodi?
What’s your cricket story?

You bored without cricket baby?
What’s your cricket story?
You bored with cricket baby?
What’s your cricket story?

What's your Cricket Story for BoredCricketCrazyIndians to bcciwrites@gmail.com

Delhi Daredevils Discounted.

I never did make it to the IPL players’ sale.

If I could help it, I wasn’t gonna miss out on the merchandise sale.

But I did. Or maybe I didn’t, I can’t even say if they had a sale last time round.

Somehow, last time I wasn’t a full 100% behind the Delhi Daredevils. So how was I gonna shell out a full 100% for their stuff?

But because I never got to the sale, I never could tell how many % I was behind them.

Would I buy at 80%? Or wait for a middle of the road 50%?

Looking back, by the time the Devils got to that knockout game vs. Mumbai Indians, I was with him in the high 90%s, maybe even more.

But then they lost, as expected, to the Royals, and I was through with them, just as they were through with the IPL.

I didn’t expect to be in Jan. 09, asking for a Daredevil tee at adidas? Firstly, I didn’t expect them to stock the stuff in this nowhere season. But they did.

While I’m no XXXL, I’m no Posh Spice size 0 either. But the little salesgirl brings me a Delhi Daredevil sports’ bra. It was that small.

My size sold out. That’s the way it is with everything in the IPL.

Later in the day, with the Daredevils many times removed from my mind, I walked through another adidas store.

They had enough 3D ammo to clothe all of Delhi & the NCR.

Reckon Sehwag and McGrath get their stuff from here.

And so do I. That’s when I figure I back the Daredevils 60%.

Two Tees for Naked Cricket in the trial-room please.

Which one will it be? The match jersey that Sehwag wears with the Hero Honda logo or the cheaper one with no Hero.

Ok, here’s the math: 1st choice: 1299 less 40% = 779.40. 2nd choice: 899 less 40% =539.40

Man, even the prices sound like run rates.

The team jersey’s great, only that neck’s straight outta the maternity ward. Ok, so the players pull that back – right on, in goes the hairy beast.

And then the store manager gives me an ace sales pitch – a picture album of Sehwag at the store. Only he’s in a Daredevil jacket, and the adidas country head is in the Tee.

Anyway, I buy it. And the one with no Hero too.

But when it came to the cap there was a restraining order.

For the record, I will not buy the Knightriders at 60%.

The Greg Chappell Foundation Cricket Match

I smelt my way to this game. There was a smell of burning dead rubber.

The sun was going down, as was any sense of fair play.

The pitch was longer than I recalled. It was muddier, not even a blade of 7 o’ clock grass. The fielders were murky, far off, on either long on or long off.

I was still at a second slip, not that I was fielding.

Then this guy jogs in a few paces to bowl. Why, I will never know.

So, he jogs in, and then underarms the ball.

Somewhere else, Sehwag bites away at Greg Chappell. Why, I will never know.

Maybe he is naïve. Maybe he is meant to say stuff. Will he be gagged, I doubt it.

Sehwag, every now and then, when you least expect, shoots his mouth. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. Or was this BCCI’s ventriloquist act?

Back to the game: That underarm ball.

The batsman, before delivery was already half way down the pitch.

It doesn’t matter. That flat-liner of a ball is a dead loss.

To make good contact, get elevation, he’ll need to hit it out of the bowler’s hand.

I’m asking the huddle around the tree wicket, is this a surrah (under-arm ball) match? It is. Three overs each. Wait until dark. And play the Greg Chappell Foundation match.

Before that, it’s Ricky’s number – they play for money. Ten bucks a guy.

The game gets over. I playact like some cricket hobo, starved for strike.

Make him bowl round arm. One more, boy! C’mon, one more, boy.

And they’re about to start the GC-Ricky match now – underarm money.

I produce a camera. They produce a spectacle. Straight out of Lord of the flies.

Abusing each other’s mothers, sisters and grabbing at each other for some camera space.

I look forward to play with these guys tomorrow.

Will head out with ten bucks. But leave my manners behind.




Bored? Check out the new Bored Guests at BoredCricketCrazyIndians.com (BCC!)

Get back to where you once belonged.

Comebacks are crazy: To qualify, you have to first go away.

But once you make a comeback, few highs can match up.

Is that why Sachin Tendulkar keeps going away?

Heck knows. Or maybe Sachin knows. Not that he’s telling. Not that we’re asking.

Look at Saurav Ganguly. Sure, he’s retired and all, but still, consider him.

A few years’ back when he scooted, the Bongification of India took place.

Everybody wanted Dada back. And when he returned, it was Durga Puja all over again.

That was some comeback. But again, if it wasn’t for his going away…

Just imagine what Dravid can do for his career if he goes away?

Once upon a time Jimmy Amarnath was the ultimate comeback kid.

Legend has it when he said his goodbyes at a party nobody took him seriously and expected him to return anyway.

That he did.

The other day Bored Cricket Crazy Indians (BCC!) had to go away.

Not like Kambli or Kanitkar, but generally.

BoredCricketCrazyIndians.com has made a comeback

Do tell, how much more do you love us now?

Voice in my head

I haven’t had enough wine
I haven’t played enough cricket
I’m just one step closer to the edge
And I’ll keel over, but I think I’ll hang on
For this little accident that will define me

And they’ll say, he was done and he was dusted
And they’ll say, he was gone and he was busted
And they’ll say, he was Vaughan and he was rusted
And they’ll say, he was Tom and he was sussed out

But I hung on, I just couldn’t let go
So I hung on, I wouldn’t let go
I was resigned to my fate
I was designed for my fate
I wasn’t God, I was Tait
I wasn’t a passenger, I wasn’t freight
I wasn’t early, I wasn’t late
I was somewhere in between
Not letting go, coz this was my destiny
And this was my date
I was fucked up, and without a mate
And it was such a ride, it didn’t matter
Whether I was the hunter or the bait
I just had to be there to the bitter end
And it was so sweet
Extracting every last second of playing time
And it was sweet
Extracting every last second of playing dime
Till the bitter end
And it wasn’t that bitter at all
And it wasn’t that sweet at all
It was something I had to do
For the voice in my head

That backyard game

In a way that’s a misnomer. In Delhi, most backyard games are frontyard games.

Like this one across the road. They’re playing for me, my camera and to reduce the static.

Now, I don’t know this kid or if he schools, but he plays more cricket than average kids his age.

He even has in his employment an older boy to play with him.

One he throws balls and tantrums at. Think this kid is a little like Greg Chappell was in his backyard. Ian will vouch for that. He’s looking for a voucher right now.

Anyway one time this kid flung the bat, cheated, yelled, all in the course of a few balls. His employee walked out, SMG would’ve been proud.

But the kid sweet talked him into playing again. He even feigned remorse, some Lacoste tears, and the general SreeSanth hamper.

Soon they were playing again. I couldn’t care less.

Then today, I started to care a little.

The sun was good, and I was out, looking down on them, their lack of ethics etc.

Then the camera forgave them. No need for Farooq Enginner.

Some observations: the kid bats a few feet outside his wicket (that when their pitch is but a few feet). The kid bowls middle-leg stump line, short of length, knocking his employee’s nuts.

Before bowling he tosses the ball up, and knocks it over the neighbour’s wall. He then runs to fetch it. A stray dog looks on. He doesn’t know how to fetch it.

They break for lunch.

The kid returns in all whites, SMG would have been proud. From a distance I cannot tell whether his sweater bears the BCCI crest.

I break for lunch.

Bored Cricket Crazy Indians.com (BCC!) is at lunch. Be back.




back after a fetch


not another tantrum

Two pints

Round at the old pub
With a lone light
Sits a lone man
With two pints
One for him
One for you

He’s been waiting so long
But you never did come along
He’s been waiting so long
But you wanted to go on strong
But you were weak

How do you know
Your time has come
The umpire knows
Your time has come
He gives you out more than in
And then you know
Your luck’s running thin
You’re out of time
You’re out of lives
You’re waiting for one lucky break
But this is one bad run you cannot shake
You’re waiting

Just like
Round at the old pub
With a lone light
Sits a lone man
With two pints
One for him
One for you

He's waiting.

Haydos, go have that drink with JL.


Why Bored Cricket Crazy Indians.com (BCC!) is still offline

Forty five minutes that shook the cricket world

Bored Cricket Crazy Indians (BCC!) have been offline for 45 mts.

The last time BCC! was offline this long was before it was online.

It's a strange feeling.

After the Satyam fiasco, you may feel that the blog books were cooked up.

And there really weren't any blogs there.

Assure you that is not true.

They were real. Just as Mendis, Shakib, Warner are unreal.

As for the timing, it couldn't have been worse.

Smack in the middle of a Bangla-Zim-Lanka tri-series.

And a Ranji final. But fuck, Sachin made a duck.

Did that prompt us to go off? You'll never know.

Hopefully we should be back for Agarkar's innings.

This time he hasn't made a duck so he can't get a pair.

Of course there's a T20 game on Tuesday.

We've spoken to friends in high and low places to influence the game's timing.

The Delhi Daredevils are in touch with David Warner.

Everything should be resolved soon.

And if it isn’t just remember it’s only been 45 minutes.

Patience dear.

Dance Cricket

Blindfold me
Blindfold you
Shut your eyes
Shut my eyes
Shut your world
Shut my world
Open your world
Open my world

Even if you can’t open your eyes, baby

Explode!

This is not cricket
This is dance
This is dance cricket
Dance cricket, dance

Hold the stumps steady
Can’t see you, can sense you
Calling out: ‘Batsman ready!?’
Bowling underarm!
SURAAAH!

Dance cricket, dance

A thousand drums bowled in a ball
Almost like a bowler’s mating call
I can hear you, I can hear you
Wide of leg stump
Going wider of leg stump

I’m in stance
I’m in trance
Ready to sweep
SWEEP
Swept
Away
Scooting down very fine leg
Gone for four

Everybody’s in the team
14 guys out to play
All will have his say
All will clap
One by one
All will bat
All will bowl
Good old numbering format
Put a number behind my back

B1, B2, B3
Grades of see
Grades of not see
Runner run for me
Keeper keep for me
I’m in style
I cannot see
I just like to be
Play my game
In the mind
Where it’s won
All by gut

That’s a hit
It’s coming at me
I’m at short midwicket
Sliding like nobody I’ve ever seen
Sliding like nobody you’ve ever seen

A thousand drums rolled in a ball
Almost like a batsman’s mating call
I can hear you, I can hear you
I’ll stop you, sure I will
Somewhere in my body’s skill

Govind on 49*
Hit one down the wrong line
Coach and leg umpire rolled into one
Asked him not to whine
It’s always a good sign to get out on 49.

Dance Cricket, dance




Match Experience Report and more pictures at Bored Cricket Crazy Indians (BCC!)

naked cricket theme

I’m a chunk of cricket
I’m a morsel of the day’s play
I’m the post tea session
I’m the drink’s break
I’m the drinks

I’m the toss
I’m the coin tossed
I’m the pitch report
I’m the soil
I’m the key that soils

I’m the microphone
I’m the cable
I’m a prediction
I’ve been said
I will be spoken

I’m the faintest of edges
I’m a drop
I’m a high five
I’m a rustle of the hair
I’m a biting of the nail
I’m a pulling of the cuticle

I’m a change in bowling
I’m the pavilion end
I’m the member’s box
I’m outta the box
I’m in the stands
I’m a streaker
I’m Naked Cricket

I’m you, as you are me as we are all together
I’m Mick Jagger, John Lennon, Gaurav Sethi
I’m a cricket song
I’m gulli cricket
I’m the space between the legs of a broken old chair
I’m the wicket
I’m stumpcam
I’m the glovesman without gloves
I’m the batsman with a size 4 bat
I’m a 6 year old called Vasu
I’m the bush the ball rips through
I’m an onlooker, not a willing hooker
I’m a Mendis kinda bowler, can’t say what I’m bowling
I’m a KP kinda batsman, my ribs will be broken
I’m a tennis ball pro, I’m all show

I’m the Delhi Dare Devils
I’m Viru through a bad patch
I’m Amit Mishra when he was forgotten
I’m Pigeon ‘s shake of the head
I’m Sachin’s nod
I’m Dada’s twitch
I’m Dravid’s silence
I’m Bhajji’s imbalance
I’m John Wright’s balance

I’m a fixed match
I’m the unnamed names
I’m Hansie and Azhar
I’m Kapil and Manoj
I’m the money
I’m a five day season’s ticket
I’m a free pass
I’m a free cricket chat
I’m Chairman of Selectors
I’m biased
I have no prejudice
I’m the BCCI
I’m the BCC!
I’m a Bored Cricket Crazy Indian

Boat Cricket & Tree Cricket

At the St Paul's School Oval. Ten overs a side game. The future. But it happened in the past. From last Jan. As fog interrupted play today, this was a replay. Standby for more updates.

C'mon

C'mon Aussie C'mon - would you believe an Indian saying that? At BCC!