Either that, or there are some other reasons India doesn’t play him, such as
Started reading Aakash Chopra's Beyond the blues, in the loo when this catches the eye:
"Amit Mishra, the leg spinner from Haryana who, like me, wasn't on the just concluded A tours, tells me that there will be more pressure on the two of us to perform than on the others..."
September 28, 2009
September 27, 2009
What the f*ck won Pakistan the match
They gave a f*ck to start off with, India did not. India was a whinny, cribbing, sad misfit of a team. It didn’t gel, and still they nearly pulled it off, imagine.
For me two appeals won the game for Pakistan. First, Afridi’s appeal when MSD catwalked down the crease – he was way down, but the impact was in line – this is an old tennis ball cricket ploy that MSD uses, we all use it, come down the wicket, way far down, dekhi jayegi.
It wasn’t so much Taufel’s call as Afridi’s persuasion – how could he not give it out. There was belief in a victory, the dismissal, in the Boom Boom makes the world go around kinda thing
Taufel had to, because right then he knew, yes, I can see what you see Boom Boom, it is out.
And out it was. Enough of these stellar pranks of cruising down – even if you walk down to the other end, if the ball hits you in line, you’re out. Take that MSD.
Secondly, Ajmal’s appeal, who knew he had it in him – that was not an appeal, that was a cry for justice, to make good those years he’d lost in isolation (one day Mishra will appeal so).
It doesn’t matter where it hit Raina, bat, boot, leg – it hit that Steve Davis bloke right in the heart. The appeal moved him to tears.
He felt what Ajmal did, damn, even I knew it was out, because I felt the pain of Ajmal’s first class debut 12 years back, all those years waiting – for this moment, when Raina will be his, as will be victory.
For me two appeals won the game for Pakistan. First, Afridi’s appeal when MSD catwalked down the crease – he was way down, but the impact was in line – this is an old tennis ball cricket ploy that MSD uses, we all use it, come down the wicket, way far down, dekhi jayegi.
It wasn’t so much Taufel’s call as Afridi’s persuasion – how could he not give it out. There was belief in a victory, the dismissal, in the Boom Boom makes the world go around kinda thing
Taufel had to, because right then he knew, yes, I can see what you see Boom Boom, it is out.
And out it was. Enough of these stellar pranks of cruising down – even if you walk down to the other end, if the ball hits you in line, you’re out. Take that MSD.
Secondly, Ajmal’s appeal, who knew he had it in him – that was not an appeal, that was a cry for justice, to make good those years he’d lost in isolation (one day Mishra will appeal so).
It doesn’t matter where it hit Raina, bat, boot, leg – it hit that Steve Davis bloke right in the heart. The appeal moved him to tears.
He felt what Ajmal did, damn, even I knew it was out, because I felt the pain of Ajmal’s first class debut 12 years back, all those years waiting – for this moment, when Raina will be his, as will be victory.
For this we didn’t pick Amit Mishra:
10-0-71-1
5 runs from 10 balls.
These the two reasons to not play Mishra. First Bhajj, the first choice spinner, secondly, Yusuf Pathan, the 7th batsman and the 5th bowler.
Yeah, Bhajji got a five for the other day, and Yusuf has done incredible things in the IPL.
It’s just that one isn’t a bowler, and the other isn’t a batsman. These marketing guys can sell you strange sh*t.
5 runs from 10 balls.
These the two reasons to not play Mishra. First Bhajj, the first choice spinner, secondly, Yusuf Pathan, the 7th batsman and the 5th bowler.
Yeah, Bhajji got a five for the other day, and Yusuf has done incredible things in the IPL.
It’s just that one isn’t a bowler, and the other isn’t a batsman. These marketing guys can sell you strange sh*t.
September 26, 2009
September 25, 2009
Steamy Fantasy Cricket.
I dislike the term fantasy cricket. It reeks of Paharganj hotel room-dirty video. With amateur actors inserting cricket equipment into various orifices; what sort of cricket equipment – bails, the Ashes, whatever comes to mind.
In keeping with the theme, my team is called Naked Cricket. You can check the dirty games here.
In keeping with the theme, my team is called Naked Cricket. You can check the dirty games here.
September 21, 2009
Triple standards in cricket
March 2008: It takes Virender Sehwag to score a double hundred to cement his spot for the next two series. And when he doesn’t score a double for a while, questions on consistency are asked, naturally.
Imagine then, what happens when Sehwag fails to score a triple century for a full four years.
September 2009. What does Sehwag do while his mates warm-up for the Champions Trophy? He plays in some local game, scores a duck. But he plays. Next he plays in the Irani Trophy on 1st October. His mates will have played the West Indies in their last league match the previous day.
On 2nd and 3rd October are the CT semis, Sehwag will be biding his time in the Irani Trophy.
The call on Sehwag’s fitness was taken way back, so back it’s tough to recall when. It was decided then, that he will be unfit for the Champions Trophy.
The decision was in reaction to the furore caused by his injury in the Twenty20 world. This time, neither the BCCI nor the team management wanted to take any chances with Sehwag’s injury. It did make everyone, including Sehwag, MSD and the Board look clueless.
Now take the case of Sachin Tendulkar, who spends good lengths of time recovering from injury. And when he recovers, he just walks into the playing eleven – there is never any proof of match fitness required, rarely, if ever, is Sachin required to play games to prove his fitness. No captain, cricket board or team management creates scenes.
And then you have Sehwag, playing the Irani and Corporate scene. Granted he wasn’t exactly smooth on the injury front, but that’s Sehwag for you – point is, nobody stood up for him. Instead they went out of the way to make him look like a clueless idiot.
If you were Sehwag, why would you want to captain any team? Be it team India or the Delhi Daredevils.
In the last few weeks, Sehwag is making a clear statement of intent – do not fuck with me, I am not Rohit Sharma or Suresh Raina, and you cannot treat me like them.
I may not be Sachin Temdulkar but then he is not Virender Sehwag either, our paths did cross a long time back.
In the next few months, either India or Sehwag will have another reality check. And that’s where a new standard will be set. One will have to give.
Right now, it looks like India doesn’t deserve Sehwag. For me, he could be the next mercenary cricketer, and a far more devastating one than Flintoff.
On Bored - Jatman: Don't treat me like shi*
Imagine then, what happens when Sehwag fails to score a triple century for a full four years.
September 2009. What does Sehwag do while his mates warm-up for the Champions Trophy? He plays in some local game, scores a duck. But he plays. Next he plays in the Irani Trophy on 1st October. His mates will have played the West Indies in their last league match the previous day.
On 2nd and 3rd October are the CT semis, Sehwag will be biding his time in the Irani Trophy.
The call on Sehwag’s fitness was taken way back, so back it’s tough to recall when. It was decided then, that he will be unfit for the Champions Trophy.
The decision was in reaction to the furore caused by his injury in the Twenty20 world. This time, neither the BCCI nor the team management wanted to take any chances with Sehwag’s injury. It did make everyone, including Sehwag, MSD and the Board look clueless.
Now take the case of Sachin Tendulkar, who spends good lengths of time recovering from injury. And when he recovers, he just walks into the playing eleven – there is never any proof of match fitness required, rarely, if ever, is Sachin required to play games to prove his fitness. No captain, cricket board or team management creates scenes.
And then you have Sehwag, playing the Irani and Corporate scene. Granted he wasn’t exactly smooth on the injury front, but that’s Sehwag for you – point is, nobody stood up for him. Instead they went out of the way to make him look like a clueless idiot.
If you were Sehwag, why would you want to captain any team? Be it team India or the Delhi Daredevils.
In the last few weeks, Sehwag is making a clear statement of intent – do not fuck with me, I am not Rohit Sharma or Suresh Raina, and you cannot treat me like them.
I may not be Sachin Temdulkar but then he is not Virender Sehwag either, our paths did cross a long time back.
In the next few months, either India or Sehwag will have another reality check. And that’s where a new standard will be set. One will have to give.
Right now, it looks like India doesn’t deserve Sehwag. For me, he could be the next mercenary cricketer, and a far more devastating one than Flintoff.
On Bored - Jatman: Don't treat me like shi*
Virender Sehwag quits cricket to concentrate on his personal life
First Jatman threatened to quit Delhi for Haryana.
Then he quit the team India vice captaincy and declared he had no captaincy aspirations.
Then they made him captain Rest of India for the Irani trophy.
So, what does he do, he quits the Delhi Daredevils captaincy to concentrate on his batting.
Beware BCCI, before you mess with this man again.
Then he quit the team India vice captaincy and declared he had no captaincy aspirations.
Then they made him captain Rest of India for the Irani trophy.
So, what does he do, he quits the Delhi Daredevils captaincy to concentrate on his batting.
Beware BCCI, before you mess with this man again.
September 16, 2009
Not that far behind. (a song for Sachin and er...even Ricky)
One scores a 100
How can the other be far behind?
There isn’t much between the two
When they leave their demons far behind
One is the skipper
The other left his captaincy far behind
One is a mentor, the other went mental
When the Poms kicked his far…behind
Good for him
He’s left Twenty20 far behind
There’s just so much one can do
Better to leave cricket’s future far behind
You can play in the present
But you must play as you did
Far behind
The cover drives will come
The reverse sweeps will hum
Place it far behind
The bat will be straight
The defence will be great
Far behind
Foot to the pitch of the ball
You're in for the long haul
When the world is done
You’ll still be scoring a ton
Because one can never leave
that much class far behind.
Go get it boy, it was always there
In the back of your mind
Not that far behind.
How can the other be far behind?
There isn’t much between the two
When they leave their demons far behind
One is the skipper
The other left his captaincy far behind
One is a mentor, the other went mental
When the Poms kicked his far…behind
Good for him
He’s left Twenty20 far behind
There’s just so much one can do
Better to leave cricket’s future far behind
You can play in the present
But you must play as you did
Far behind
The cover drives will come
The reverse sweeps will hum
Place it far behind
The bat will be straight
The defence will be great
Far behind
Foot to the pitch of the ball
You're in for the long haul
When the world is done
You’ll still be scoring a ton
Because one can never leave
that much class far behind.
Go get it boy, it was always there
In the back of your mind
Not that far behind.
September 15, 2009
Come back home, all is forgiven.
To One Day International Cricket
It was a case of mistaken identity. The problem wasn’t with you, ODI. The problem was with English cricket.
Whenever they played you, ODI, they played us. England are the only team, nay side, which will lose one day at a time yet win when five days are strung together. What does that do, if not make you predictable, ODI?
And then the mighty Bangladeshis wreaked havoc on the feeble West Indies – never before had the domination of Asian cricket been so pronounced. See what they did to your good name, ODI?
Let it not be forgotten, you were the first to be World Cup-ed, ODI. If not for you, India would never have loved cricket. If not for you, sky would fall, rain would gather too…if not for you, Bob Dylan would not have written that.
If not for you, India and its boys would never have known the colour of money. It’s blue.
If not for you, India would never have won the Compaq Cup. A trophy even uglier than the IPL.
It was a case of mistaken identity. The problem wasn’t with you, ODI. The problem was with English cricket.
Whenever they played you, ODI, they played us. England are the only team, nay side, which will lose one day at a time yet win when five days are strung together. What does that do, if not make you predictable, ODI?
And then the mighty Bangladeshis wreaked havoc on the feeble West Indies – never before had the domination of Asian cricket been so pronounced. See what they did to your good name, ODI?
Let it not be forgotten, you were the first to be World Cup-ed, ODI. If not for you, India would never have loved cricket. If not for you, sky would fall, rain would gather too…if not for you, Bob Dylan would not have written that.
If not for you, India and its boys would never have known the colour of money. It’s blue.
If not for you, India would never have won the Compaq Cup. A trophy even uglier than the IPL.
September 14, 2009
No mercy.
A few years back Rahul Dravid was dropped from the one-day side. Today the Lankans dropped him. Thrice.
September 12, 2009
Not quite a field day but so what
India started its back-to-back game fielding the same team – if they looked reasonably fresh yesterday, they were unreasonably rusty today. An ODI in Sri Lanka is sapping, back-to back ones doubly so. Yet India fielded the same eleven – isn't that serious intent to retain its No. 1 ranking.
Today’s game was a useful opportunity to rest up to three players, playing Virat Kohli, Praveen Kumar and Amit Mishra instead.
Years back Sachin Tendulkar spoke about the punishing schedules of back to back games, something he could cope with earlier but not so anymore. After the game, any player who uses the back-to-back excuse should be taped at the mouth.
To blame India’s fielding wows on the two seniors is the easy way out – the failure was a cooperative society venture. Each player raised his hand, and said, I will do my worst, we’ve played back-to-back games.
In the 49th over, Ashish Nehra’s drop of a skyer, Yuvraj’s bemused look, just about summed it up. If you didn’t laugh at the Indian effort, and were still watching, you’d be a nervous wreck.
I wangled a nap in between, woke up to one Chamara Kapugedara playing the innings of his life.
Earlier, Bhajji jogged with his dog while the Lankans jogged three, sharp shooter Dinesh Karthik hurled crazy balls at his fellow keeper MSD, and MS made amends for some sharp stumpings. RP, Sachin, Dravid, Nehra, like their mates, all looked like they were playing some retired cricket leagues. Their song, 'slow down you move to fast, you gotta make the moment last!'
It's obvious now, there is no senior-junior divide in this team. Here’s to one team India. Here’s to being No. 1. One day at a time.
Read an earlier ode to India's fielding here
Today’s game was a useful opportunity to rest up to three players, playing Virat Kohli, Praveen Kumar and Amit Mishra instead.
Years back Sachin Tendulkar spoke about the punishing schedules of back to back games, something he could cope with earlier but not so anymore. After the game, any player who uses the back-to-back excuse should be taped at the mouth.
To blame India’s fielding wows on the two seniors is the easy way out – the failure was a cooperative society venture. Each player raised his hand, and said, I will do my worst, we’ve played back-to-back games.
In the 49th over, Ashish Nehra’s drop of a skyer, Yuvraj’s bemused look, just about summed it up. If you didn’t laugh at the Indian effort, and were still watching, you’d be a nervous wreck.
I wangled a nap in between, woke up to one Chamara Kapugedara playing the innings of his life.
Earlier, Bhajji jogged with his dog while the Lankans jogged three, sharp shooter Dinesh Karthik hurled crazy balls at his fellow keeper MSD, and MS made amends for some sharp stumpings. RP, Sachin, Dravid, Nehra, like their mates, all looked like they were playing some retired cricket leagues. Their song, 'slow down you move to fast, you gotta make the moment last!'
It's obvious now, there is no senior-junior divide in this team. Here’s to one team India. Here’s to being No. 1. One day at a time.
Read an earlier ode to India's fielding here
September 11, 2009
Why Dravid has returned in Sri Lanka
To sweat like a slave, to empty helmet fulls of that sweat, to wet his shirt with that sweat – till you ask, is that t his second skin? A third umpire should look into this, you just can’t water the wicket with sweat even if it has 10k runs behind it.
When they talk of dew, they should take samples and check for traces of Dravid’s sweat in it.
On Bored: the lowdown and the mighty @Compaq Cup Tri series
When they talk of dew, they should take samples and check for traces of Dravid’s sweat in it.
On Bored: the lowdown and the mighty @Compaq Cup Tri series
September 10, 2009
Saurav to open with Sachin again.
As Sachin prepared to stage a one-day comeback, Sehwag’s shoulder got stage fright.
Next Saurav spoke of a Ranji return, elsewhere Gambhir felt his groin go.
Of course this is factually incorrect, but we must continue to believe in these untruths – they’re about the alignment of Sachin and Saurav’s one-day worlds.
These worlds cast a shadow on any other opening partnerships. Is it any wonder, Sehwag-Gambhir do not open when Sachin is available.
I believe if you went up to Sachin, and wangled an interview with his gracious heart, it would articulate in the same vein – ‘I’d love to open with Saurav’. And then you can’t argue with those one-day runs they scored.
You can if you want to, make Dinesh Karthik open with Virat Kohli. It’s only a one-day game, let the kids have some fun.
On Bored: Gambhir refuses to play without Sehwag
Next Saurav spoke of a Ranji return, elsewhere Gambhir felt his groin go.
Of course this is factually incorrect, but we must continue to believe in these untruths – they’re about the alignment of Sachin and Saurav’s one-day worlds.
These worlds cast a shadow on any other opening partnerships. Is it any wonder, Sehwag-Gambhir do not open when Sachin is available.
I believe if you went up to Sachin, and wangled an interview with his gracious heart, it would articulate in the same vein – ‘I’d love to open with Saurav’. And then you can’t argue with those one-day runs they scored.
You can if you want to, make Dinesh Karthik open with Virat Kohli. It’s only a one-day game, let the kids have some fun.
On Bored: Gambhir refuses to play without Sehwag
Take that Ricky Ponting
This hundred is for you, it comes from one Cameron White at your favourite position. That's also three one dayers won, what are you doing in England? You can't possibly lose four on the trot. Even Trott isn't playing. But then neither are you.
Talk about being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
You could take the easy option, and fly the hell out of here. And while you're at it, take that Michael Clarke too.
The world will be a happier place without captains like you.
Make White captain, he'll take care of your grey areas.
Talk about being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
You could take the easy option, and fly the hell out of here. And while you're at it, take that Michael Clarke too.
The world will be a happier place without captains like you.
Make White captain, he'll take care of your grey areas.
September 09, 2009
One day Trott will play.
England will have lost the one-day series by then. 7-0, barring rain or Ponting’s helping hand. Trott will be better off at Warwickshire with the freewheeling Sreesanth.
England can wait, soon Trott will be an accomplished test and county cricketer on the wrong side of 30. It’s only teams like South Africa, India and Sri Lanka who rush in test stars like Duminy, Dravid and Samarweera to play one day cricket.
When contacted the ECB claimed Trott was not interested in the IPL.
England can wait, soon Trott will be an accomplished test and county cricketer on the wrong side of 30. It’s only teams like South Africa, India and Sri Lanka who rush in test stars like Duminy, Dravid and Samarweera to play one day cricket.
When contacted the ECB claimed Trott was not interested in the IPL.
Thirty overs too many.
New Zealand are what you call a limited overs’ side. The fewer the overs, the more they party. Put them against anything more than twenty overs, it's a long-term commitment.
The Kiwis do not have attention spans – while Mendis continued to intimidate, one bloke from the Kiwi support staff tried to educate a dumb mate on Mendis’ craft. You could tell it was taxing. That poor player’s head was about to explode. At least mine was, just watching him on the brink.
Meanwhile Elliot was working to save humanity, he played a Mendis maiden. Brendon McCullum was playing to impress big brother Nathan.
Nathan hatched a first ball duck, clearly the family reunion not working.
There is one solution for Kiwi cricket, import. Not from India, but the ICL.
Look at Shane Bond, even at half mast, he works. Bring back Parore, McMillan, Cairns. At least they played filthy. Cairns will deliver Dinesh Mongia, that should fix things.
Hell, Vettori failed, that’s 140 runs short straight away. What could have been had he scored – the Kiwis winning by 40 runs even while batting second.
But he’s not Denial Vettori for nothing. The best number eight in middle earth.
The Kiwis do not have attention spans – while Mendis continued to intimidate, one bloke from the Kiwi support staff tried to educate a dumb mate on Mendis’ craft. You could tell it was taxing. That poor player’s head was about to explode. At least mine was, just watching him on the brink.
Meanwhile Elliot was working to save humanity, he played a Mendis maiden. Brendon McCullum was playing to impress big brother Nathan.
Nathan hatched a first ball duck, clearly the family reunion not working.
There is one solution for Kiwi cricket, import. Not from India, but the ICL.
Look at Shane Bond, even at half mast, he works. Bring back Parore, McMillan, Cairns. At least they played filthy. Cairns will deliver Dinesh Mongia, that should fix things.
Hell, Vettori failed, that’s 140 runs short straight away. What could have been had he scored – the Kiwis winning by 40 runs even while batting second.
But he’s not Denial Vettori for nothing. The best number eight in middle earth.
September 05, 2009
Arun Lal’s lullaby
Arun Lal is on air. The volume’s half way down. The brightest part of the match is ONGC red ‘n yellow fast-food chain gear. Virat Kohli and Gautam Gambhir at the crease. Arun Lal continues to talk to himself. His co-commentator is asleep. Soon, so will I. For an uninterrupted nap intend to leave Lal’s lullaby on. If you thought one-day cricket was boring, try adding Lal to it. It becomes no-day cricket. The sun sets. The stars come out. And you go to sleep.
Corporate wars, trophy, moral angles and SRT at BCC!
September 03, 2009
The fly by night batsman
Like history, Robin Uthappa repeats himself. He’s not one of those batsmen who invent ways to get out. He has trademarked his dismissal.
Today at the Sahara BCCI Corporate trophy (what a brilliant name) he tried to kill a bird, no a plane, no superman. He hooked, no pulled, no miss-timed one beyond the Ozone.
It didn’t go beyond the thirty yard circle. The keeper, whoever he was, gloved it.
Dravid, looked on from slip, like only he can, studiously, taking mental notes.
You can be sure Dravid will speak to Uthappa after the game. They are teammates after all, at Bangalore Royal Challengers.
Finally, all cricketers will be teammates. If not in the Blues, then in Tata Reds, India Cement, the IPL, erstwhile ICL, Warwickshire, Hong Kong Super Sixes, Beach cricket, Alpine cricket.
No wonder they call cricket a team sport.
Today at the Sahara BCCI Corporate trophy (what a brilliant name) he tried to kill a bird, no a plane, no superman. He hooked, no pulled, no miss-timed one beyond the Ozone.
It didn’t go beyond the thirty yard circle. The keeper, whoever he was, gloved it.
Dravid, looked on from slip, like only he can, studiously, taking mental notes.
You can be sure Dravid will speak to Uthappa after the game. They are teammates after all, at Bangalore Royal Challengers.
Finally, all cricketers will be teammates. If not in the Blues, then in Tata Reds, India Cement, the IPL, erstwhile ICL, Warwickshire, Hong Kong Super Sixes, Beach cricket, Alpine cricket.
No wonder they call cricket a team sport.
September 02, 2009
Amit Mishra on silly TV
Question: Do you feel threatened by Ojha? - He’s a different type of bowler, left arm spinner… and then talk of Mishra the batsman, you have a reputation in first class cricket but haven’t done much in internationals? Boss, if you were last man in, don’t think you’d do much either.
Then the masterstroke, you’ve achieved so much - Just now I have a lot to achieve, when I do what I have in mind, I will tell you.
It wasn’t a man of the match interview, but as always Mishra had bite, not just with the ball, but with his bole.
There was talk of the Masters, Kumble and Bhajji, and Mishra was smart enough to talk of Bhajji as a great bowler, or something on those lines. Around that time I lost interest in the show, but it was almost over.
On BCC! - Amit Mishra: Lost and Found
Then the masterstroke, you’ve achieved so much - Just now I have a lot to achieve, when I do what I have in mind, I will tell you.
It wasn’t a man of the match interview, but as always Mishra had bite, not just with the ball, but with his bole.
There was talk of the Masters, Kumble and Bhajji, and Mishra was smart enough to talk of Bhajji as a great bowler, or something on those lines. Around that time I lost interest in the show, but it was almost over.
On BCC! - Amit Mishra: Lost and Found
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