Warne and Kumble flash for each other.

Here on Bored

Who will bowl with the relatively new ball?

Through the one-day series India has picked 3 medium pacers, one of whom has ended up going for plenty. Of course, once Ishant was included he was the chosen one. In his latter years when Kumble was still playing one-day cricket, then too India played 3 seamers plus the one spinner; the fifth bowler’s role tackled by part-timers.

Thus India’s attack lost out on either Kumble or Bhajji when playing teams like Australia and South Africa away from the sub-continent. The 2003 finals in South Africa, when the Aussies whipped 359 runs was against an attack sans Kumble; Zaheer going at over 9, Nehra at 8 plus runs per over.

Surprisingly it was the part-timers like Mongia, Yuvraj, Sehwag, Sachin who bowled 15 overs for 85 runs. Where as the three seamers went for 211 of their 27 overs.

That’s one game, but this is a pattern across India’s one-day games over the last few years. And if the part-timers(usually spinners), and there are always a few who can bowl 10 overs – why doesn’t India take the lead and start playing two specialist spinners as an attacking move?

That is, bowl them in the power plays – take pace off, challenge the batsmen to hit over the top when the field is in; these are cricket clichés, said often enough, but no Indian captain has been brave enough to play two specialist spinners.

It’ll be interesting to see how many one-dayers Bhajji and Kumble have played together; it’s time India realised you don’t need a home test series to play two specialist spinners; always play your best four or five bowlers.

For old time’s sake, I took another look at that India v Bangladesh scorecard in the 2007 world cup game; while the final scores do not give you a sense of the mauling, here too India played three seamers plus Bhajji.

Times like this you wonder, where did Kumble play his 271 one dayers, when did he take those 337 wickets, why wasn’t he good enough to be the fifth bowler?

Kumble played his last one dayer in March 2007, an inconsequential world cup game against Bermuda. He played his last test much later, in November, 2008. For the record, Bhajji did not play in that game, India bowled three seamers, and the fifth bowler’s role was split between Sachin and Sehwag.

Kumble’s one day bowling average was 30.89; Bhajji’s stands at 33.12.

Today, Bhajji is a first choice spinner while either Ojha and Mishra make the squad (but not the playing XI) depending what the flavour of the season is. Not long before both are dispensed with, and India turns to an old flame, Piyush Chawla. What better, he even bats as high as six for his Ranji team.


On Bored: batty about batting

Amit Mishra on silly TV

Question: Do you feel threatened by Ojha? - He’s a different type of bowler, left arm spinner… and then talk of Mishra the batsman, you have a reputation in first class cricket but haven’t done much in internationals? Boss, if you were last man in, don’t think you’d do much either.

Then the masterstroke, you’ve achieved so much - Just now I have a lot to achieve, when I do what I have in mind, I will tell you.

It wasn’t a man of the match interview, but as always Mishra had bite, not just with the ball, but with his bole.

There was talk of the Masters, Kumble and Bhajji, and Mishra was smart enough to talk of Bhajji as a great bowler, or something on those lines. Around that time I lost interest in the show, but it was almost over.


On BCC! - Amit Mishra: Lost and Found

Freddie’s farewell was Lord’s

If he bowls anymore, it’ll be a farewell to arms, and other limbs.

Mind goes back to Kumble’s last ball in test cricket; it was over-pitched, driven down the ground for four.

Flintoff, much like Kumble, will flex his face and contort you into believing he’s giving it more than 100%. Often that’s true.

It’s such a shame then that also in view is the bowling arm, not going through fully, pushing that ball down leg. And in Freddie’s case, you can’t compare the mid 80s to a 92 mph delivery, or Lord’s to the slavery of Edgbaston.

But that’s over and done with.

Flintoff will play at the Oval. He should, even on one leg. If I was king, I’d make an even half fit Freddie open the bowling.

Even if it’s just for a Shoiab spell of 2-3 overs, hit the Aussies hard, with Mr Big. After that, save Freddie for Ponting.

Restructure the batting order to accommodate Freddie higher up – he was in some batting form, use his last two innings, greedily.

Make Freddie feel like captain. What, let him feel like God. Have him play the crowds, rouse the ruffians, set loose London on the enemy.

If Lord’s was Freddie’s farewell, make the Oval his resurrection.

It’s a one-time thing. Make us believe. But before that guys, believe in yourself.

It’s London again.

The spinner and his batsman friend - I

Two of you, just two of you
From one end of the world to the other
Many long years, so many long years
With you close like your sport's kit
I said with you close like your sport's kit
There ain’t no start there ain’t no end
You’ll be there till you go round the bend
From god knows when to god knows when
You start it off you see it through
The spinner and his batsman friend
They said little yet they said a lot
Actions speak louder than words
I said actions speak louder
Than words
The spinner and his batsman friend

AK 09

Let’s think of Anil Kumble as an assault rifle. Now he’s no hopeless son of a gun – he’s a solid, trusted, well priced gun. Just that he’s made in one of those obscure little republics of the erstwhile Soviet Union. And when you go gun shopping but can't buy from the US, UK, Russia, China or Sweden, guess you gotta turn to AK’s republic.

There are no kickbacks involved, the deal is upfront, and the gun is bloody keen to fight for you.

The trouble is you feel you can do better. What will the other gun slingers say? How hack is it to fight with an AK 09? Does the AK 09 have any fight left in it? Is there a buyback scheme?

Last time round it was the AK 07, that was a younger version, but damn, you still had your doubts. But you couldn’t seal the deal with the US, UK, Russia, China or Sweden. So you went ahead with the AK 07, and boy, did it shoot from the hip.

But that was then, the new AK 09 version is basically the AK 07, only much retired. So you go all guns blazing, and buy the KP 09, that’s one helluva sexy gun from the UK. Later you discover much to your detriment that there’s a SAF angle too, and the gun backfires at you.

You think picking up a JK 09 but it takes far too much time to reload – also, you figure it’s not even a JK 04 anymore. You can’t pick RD 09 because you snubbed the RD 08. Also even if you wanted to, RD 09 has to return to the production line for RD 09 mini. And in case you were thinking, RD 09 mini is far from the finished product.

TINA. Which is when you gun for the AK 09. What the heck, how bad can it be?

Also read 'Being Cool is not what I do'

I’ve been waiting for you kid

Why else would I pick you in my fantasy team – you may say I’m a dreamer, but look, Jumbo picked you too, no doubt after a chat with Jammy. I’m convinced the only reason Jammy returned was to have that chat with Jumbo. KP was gone, and you must have thought you were gone too, but then came along Jumbo. Of course, this is what I think. And yeah, glad to see you think too.

Anyway, going back to that fantasy team – appreciate the fact you’ve not been dropped so far (I’m allowed 6 substitutions kid). Seems like ages back that you played that manic 80 odd against the Poms. And then it fell apart. Face it, you scored too fast, you hit the ball in the air too much, and they preferred Gauti to you. You were never ever in contention for a test slot anyway. I never figured that out, don’t think you did either. Worse still, even though you were an opener, doubt the team saw you as opening material, whatever that means. Had you been more of a dullhead, who knows what could have been?

You had your breaks, but they were all over the place, and so were you. Then they put the breaks on you, kid. That T20 world cup and those effusive bows seem like a long way back.

And here you were set to bow out of the IPL. Nobody would remember your straight hits, run-outs, the bows, yes, they are hard to forget.

And then this innings came along, you and mid wicket were an item again. And you scored faster than I could glug my whiskey. That was one heady innings kid, just hope it doesn’t go to your head again. I have a feeling it won’t.

Another thing: do not wear wicketkeeping gloves again, not even in private. Don't want to end up like DK boy and little hearts, do you?

Read more about the kid

Need he go to Nagpur?

I’m still hung up on Anil Kumble. And I didn’t even play with him.

How does Rahul Dravid feel? What about Sachin Tendulkar? Do they feel Kumble’s the one that got away – while they go to Nagpur, to prove themselves one more time?

Appears Kumble will be in Nagpur too, for Saurav’s farewell and Laxman’s 100th. Even if he isn’t, his zoom lens will.

Sunil Gavaskar says, of course he should go to Nagpur. This is his team. That was said on an emotional Sunday. Is this still Kumble’s team, Sunny Bhai?

Anyone with even a vague sense of Kumble will know that he wants to be there for the boys.

But, let’s detach ourselves from Kumble the karamyogi. Let’s get down to down ‘n dirty team sport. Can a team belong to two captains?

No one I’ve spoken to in the media knows if Kumble stayed on in Mohali (after his first day announcement that ruled him out) – and no sir, there isn’t an Indian cricket media manager we can call to confirm this one way or the other.

So unless Kumble was at his invisible best, masterminding the Mohali victory, the credit should go to Dhoni’s team.

One if Bhajji’s toe heals, will be the same to play in Nagpur.

So, what is Kumble’s role in Nagpur? Unless he’s going to be the media manager; quite frankly the Indian team won’t find a better man than him.

But apart from that, aren’t those felicitations distraction enough?

Or is Kumble going to sign some gentlemen’s pact with Ponting?

So, one captain can play in the spirit of the game. And the other in the flesh.

Or is Nagpur a necessity – one that will provide much needed closure for Kumble after his rushed retirement at Kotla?

Only Kumble knows.

Servant of the game

He was not what you call a master
He was not what you call a blaster
He was just a servant
Servant of the game

He was bespectacled, thick rimmed
Young and nerdy engineer type
Averse to any kind of hype
But eager like any beaver you ever saw

Nobody could read him
Nor batsman nor layman
He was the object of our ridicule
He was no less than a molecule
He was the reason we ragged in colleges
Any kid that that refused to fit in
He was the reason for our losses
He was the reason for our defeats
He was the reason we couldn’t fare better
As a nation, as a people, as a team

He was last choice captain
He was last man standing
He was broken in bandage
He was awoken in carnage

He was the very object of our scorn
Aren’t we happy now he’s gone?
He was the very object of our con
Aren't we happy now he's gone?
He was not Sachin, he was just Anil

He was not what you call a master
He was not what you call a blaster
He was just a servant
Servant of the game

He served in Antigua
He served in Sydney
He served in Delhi
He served in Perth
He served in Bangalore
He just didn’t serve in lore

He was just a servant
Servant of the game

The glasses have long gone
And so the man


(to be performed by Neil Young+Roger Waters, ideally)

This is not my swan song.

This is not my swan song
This is not my gone song
This is not my last hurrah

You’re either in or you’re out
You’re either playing or you are not
How hard can it be – to give it all you got
When all you got is…

I took somebody’s place
Somebody with more runs than me
Somebody will take my place
Somebody with less runs than me

It’s always the same
Nobody’s getting younger
It’s always the same
Somebody’s gotta cop the blame

Why don’t I speak to Steven Waugh?
And ask him what a scrap is?
Why don’t I speak to Shivnarine Chanderpaul?
And ask him what to bat like crap is?

We were the brightest stars
Playing like children play, with their dinky cars
Now we are nowhere half as cute
So we’re told, you can either fly away
Or take a chute
Take a chute, take a chute

But
This is not my swan song
This is not my gone song
This is not my last hurrah.

And I
Think I know what a scrap is
Think I know what to bat like crap is.
Think I know.
I think I know.

Bill Lawry: GAAAWN!

(To be performed by Yusuf Islam a.k.a Cat Stevens, ideally)