Death of a ladies’ man.

“You used to move the mountains, baby
But now you just don’t move me”

It doesn’t take Dr Strangelove to tell you that just like you fall in love, you fall out of love

It takes an instant, a yawn.

A moment of no magic.

A moment of that godforsaken question, “what am I doing here?”

When that happens, do you cancel your subscription to the seven samurais – the seven cricket channels in India?

On the Box this is them:

201 DD Sports, 202 Star Sports, 203 Ten Sports, 204 ESPN, 205 Neo, 207 Zee Sports, 208 Star Cricket.

Sure, there’s 106 Set Max too, but that’s only a fair-weather cricket channel. Otherwise it’s Bollywood.

Well, well, you know how it goes, you don’t cancel subscription. You bide your time.

You follow nearly the same 3 am to 3 am schedule, but with dollops of restraint.

You don’t start your day at 3am. In fact, you never did, because who watches live cricket from New Zealand anyway.

Nor do you see games through to 3 am in the West Indies –if you happen to check in a little late one night, and watch the West Indies win a Twenty20 game, that ends up being an Eleven11 game, that’s a bonus. But a measly one. On most days it’s business as usual – so count your lucky stars if you retired when dark knights Chanderpaul and Bravo were still alive in the 4th one-dayer. Last ball defeats in almost certain wins for the underdogs can be disturbing.

Reinforces the belief that cricket is limping, not only in Zimbabwe and Pakistan and the West Indies, but just about everywhere.

Is that why Australia go on to lose the last game in a dead rubber – so we believe that the West Indies are still a formidable side that can chase down record breaking scores. (what, nowadays no such luck for the Windies)

You don’t watch tests in Pakistan because there aren’t any. But if Pak schemed to play Australia in India how would Aussie smuggle out of that one?

Quick fix to rekindle yer old flame:

1. Sever ties with one day cricket. To treat any withdrawals, administer only last ball finishes, though only in highlights’ packages.
2.Sanctions on tests played between Australia-West Indies, New Zealand-England, India-Pakistan.
3. Boycott cricket boards of all nations

Fine Print:

Exemptions in (1) may be made when Sehwag looks like a double and Mendis all ten. Or when the next Gilchrist surfaces.