Gautam Gambhir's marriage

First posted @boredcricket

A big know-know: India in the World T20.

There is no RP Singh, ominous for India’s opponents. Also, Irfan Pathan will not bowl the last over, so you can’t afford to have anything more than 16 to get in the 20th. And the freebies in the super-overs sans Ishant Sharma, not going to be the same. Also Ishant hasn’t spoken to any of the youngsters (they’re older than him), so the semi-quicks will not carry with them the burden of Ishant’s youth.

Angry young man Gambhir will open the batting, and running with him will be rough. Dravid’s not there, so after Gambhir, there will not be anyone to keep up the high standard of aimless running between the wickets. India’s opponents will have to be on their toes, a few wickets could be gifted through idiotic running, but after Gambhir they’re pretty much on their own. Even taking Gambhir’s wicket for granted could be perilous, his bad run could well be a no-show, as in, he refuses to run.

If MS Dhoni is incapacitated (too much T20, takes a sabbatical) and Gambhir captains, India’s exit could be during the post toss interview, wherein Gambhir angers Afghanistan – calling them a dangerous side, or some such politically incorrect remark, mixing politics and cricket. Following which, Afghanistan does indeed become a dangerous side, rocket launchers for bowlers, guerrilla tactics in the field (fielders hiding behind boundary line hoardings appearing when least expected, snaring catches, blocking boundaries – as is the saying in Afghanistan, there are no boundaries…we like to seep into Pak and Iran and here and there (not quite the same when translated from Pushtoo, but that’s the gist).

Matters could worsen if Gambhir is unplayable too (banned) and BossDK takes over. Under him, the side will overachieve as nincompoops, following in his battered footsteps of derailed captaincy, keeping and batsmanship.

It could all go very wrong if Yusuf Pathan sticks to his international form, first ball duck coming. Rohit Sharma too would’ve snapped out of his IPL run, and will be all un-intense for the national squad. What about Raina, even he doesn’t know if he can resist the lures of midwicket.

But there’s Bhajji’s propaganda, Bhajji wielding Sachin’s bat, wanting to bat up the order, bowl up the order, field up the order, and cause general anarchy up the order – if all else fails, Bhajji will cheer you up. Zaks will make intense faces, become bowling captain, and urge overkill after a wicket. Praveen Kumar will bowl inane bouncers at 125 kmph. Piyush Chawla will make baby faces. Murali Vijay will always be grownup, always staring.

But there’s no Jatman. But it’s the T20 world cup, and he’s never there.

On Bored: Lalit Modi in the Carribean

For Murali Vijay.

This will be the first test that Murali Vijay will play with Gautam Gambhir. The two tests before this, Vijay played thanks to Gambhir’s elbow and sister. Also, those two tests Vijay opened the batting with Sehwag. This time, Vijay will bat in the middle order, unless of course Gambhir does him another favour.

Usually there’s this slotting of players – opener will only open, and if a middle order slot is vacant (as with VVS’ finger going AWOL) then a middle order player takes over – here it could’ve meant either Rohit Sharma or Dinesh Karthik being given a shot. Thankfully not so.

Vijay, now here’s what you do: If you make it to 87, as you did last month in Mumbai, try not to play across, go straight for that 100.


On Bored: Look (M Vijay again)

Gambhir, Gambhir, Gambhir, Gambhir, Gambhir

In case you’re wondering, that’s for the five consecutive hundreds by Gambhir, Gambhir…he sure likes to repeat himself. Is it the stammer, the stutter? Say what you will of Gambhir, Gambhir..he is one player who could be off the boil one innings, next one he’s ready to fry an egg on his bat – the feet are moving, and so his mind. Usually when Gambhir’s feet move, his world falls into place.

Er..do you think Gambhir’s warranted a repeat? I’m torn on that. After all, it was Gambhir, Gambhir…that scored those five consecutive hundreds; but arguably these five are also Gambhir’s – aren’t they?

For me, there is a definite plan with Gambhir’s ascent to the Daredevil’s captaincy. Only 28, a sure-shot in all forms, where can Gambhir, Gambhir… go from here? I won’t put it beyond Sehwag along with Gambhir, Gambhir… chalking out some plans here.

The nucleus of the present team is Delhi; top three batsman, tallest bowler, second tallest bowler, and second choice spinning allroudner, all Delhi. Then there’s Karthik, not quite Delhi, but a Daredevil alright. Where am I going with this?

Embrace the wronged one.

You are Saurav put to the sword
You are Dravid gone downhill
You are a captain without a team
You will find in him a friend
You will in the Jatman
Find a friend

You are a nobody wicketkeeper
Neither here nor nowhere
You have no comfort zone
And then you find a place in merchandise cricket
As a keeper, higher order batsman
How Dinesh Karthik bats
When he knows he’s found a friend
Found a friend
In the Jatman

You are countless Delhi openers
You are Aakash Chopra
You are Gautam Gambhir
You are all those in between
You did not find the gospel
In the books or in the nets
In a coach or in a prophecy
You found it in a friend
In the Jatman

You are the wronged one
You are Amit Mishra
You are the wronged one
You are Dinesh Karthik
You are the wronged one
You are Gautam Gambhir
You are the wronged one
You are Virender Sehwag
You will find a friend
You are the wronged one
You will find a friend
In the Jatman


Happy Bored Day Jatman! You're invited here!

Sehwag prepares for cricket after life.

In the last few months Sehwag has lived a little. For that he had to die a little first, what with his emergency exit from the Twenty20 World Cup.

But after that, Sehwag found his voice, his calling, his self. From a maverick taking on the DDCA, to shooting from the hip in one interview after another. Prior to this I do not recall ever reading a Sehwag interview; there might have been the odd sound byte, but nothing on such a scale.

It was as if Sehwag was the funky new cerebral side of cricket. Humour and commonsense, honesty and straight talk, that was Sehwag’s cricketing grammar.

Till last year, I wondered ‘how do you solve a brand like Viru’ – and did he have any PR people, or for that matter any people working on brand Sehwag. It’s obvious most Indian cricketers do, and these brand managers work overtime keeping their stars shinning even on starless nights.

With Sehwag it was the opposite. No matter what he did it was never enough. He needed to score twice as fast, twice as many to be a blip on the radar.

Then what changed? I think the IPL was a huge factor, it showed Sehwag on a very marketable stage – top boss, all batsman, and pitted him against MSD, Yuvraj, Sachin, not just as a player, but as a brand. From an invisible brand, Sehwag at least registered. If not across India, definitely in Delhi.

Good for him, the kids like him, at least at the adidas store. Then there was the emergence of Gambhir, suddenly it was 1 + 1 deal, Sehwag + Gambhir.

The two get on like Bonny and Clyde, there’s a similar frantic-rush from raiding bowlers. I think by 2009 both Gambhir and Sehwag realised that, and in that realisation came the need to communicate – vital, if you learn one thing from Sachin, it is important to say it. You could be great, and all that, but it needs to be known, repeatedly.

So Sehwag went on overdrive talking about his triples, his favourite innings in Galle – all this needed to be said. Top that Sehwag spoke about his favourite player Gambhir, their vibe, ditto from Gambhir.

After missing a World Cup and a Champions Trophy, where India failed to make the semis, Sehwag returns in the Irani trophy – he opens in the first innings, not so in the second. Before this, the last innings he played was in IPL 2.

From that innings to now, I think Sehwag’s travelled a fair bit. While in the IPL he was content to make Warner open, play mentor, captain, senior Delhi player, he will now play purely as an opening batsman.

While the mind will be clearer, he still returns from a lay off. What Sehwag accomplishes in the next few months will decide where both the player and the brand go. Get Delhi beyond the semis for once, win a 7 ODI series against Australia, it can happen. If Sehwag happens. If MSD makes him happen.

Saurav to open with Sachin again.

As Sachin prepared to stage a one-day comeback, Sehwag’s shoulder got stage fright.

Next Saurav spoke of a Ranji return, elsewhere Gambhir felt his groin go.

Of course this is factually incorrect, but we must continue to believe in these untruths – they’re about the alignment of Sachin and Saurav’s one-day worlds.

These worlds cast a shadow on any other opening partnerships. Is it any wonder, Sehwag-Gambhir do not open when Sachin is available.

I believe if you went up to Sachin, and wangled an interview with his gracious heart, it would articulate in the same vein – ‘I’d love to open with Saurav’. And then you can’t argue with those one-day runs they scored.

You can if you want to, make Dinesh Karthik open with Virat Kohli. It’s only a one-day game, let the kids have some fun.


On Bored: Gambhir refuses to play without Sehwag

Arun Lal’s lullaby

Arun Lal is on air. The volume’s half way down. The brightest part of the match is ONGC red ‘n yellow fast-food chain gear. Virat Kohli and Gautam Gambhir at the crease. Arun Lal continues to talk to himself. His co-commentator is asleep. Soon, so will I. For an uninterrupted nap intend to leave Lal’s lullaby on. If you thought one-day cricket was boring, try adding Lal to it. It becomes no-day cricket. The sun sets. The stars come out. And you go to sleep.

Corporate wars, trophy, moral angles and SRT at BCC!

Gautam’s 18th Birthday

If Gautam Gambhir became a born again cricketer on the 4th day, then on the 5th he came of age many times over. In the space of two days he attained in cricket years, the equivalent of a player with voting rights – for heaven’s sake, after his innings, he can run for elections. And in this Indian team that counts for plenty.

Gambhir is now a test, ODI and T20 staple; regular test and T20 opener, but he still doesn’t open the innings in one-dayers, at least not when SRT decides to play. The day Sachin abdicates the opening slot for Gambhir should not be far. That’s if Sachin calls it right.

In the blink of an eye, Gambhir has scored so many runs, in so many formats, it’s confusing to tell where he got what.

When it started with the IPL hungama, I dismissed the tiny Kotla ground. When the tap ran in ODIs, I wrote them off as white ball freebees. When the run-dam broke in tests, I said sub continent.

By then, even if I doubted Gambhir’s mettle, I had started to enjoy his quirks, like that jaunt down the track. Here was a down the track walker not a wanker. And he walked, and he elbowed, and he gave as he got, and there was joy on top of the order, like there never was –

Or there was in another lifetime, in Sunny’s days with Chauhan. But that was some blurred memory, this was live cricket.

And still, for the life of me, I could not believe, that Indian cricket, in spite of its vision, was myopic when it came to the ODI opening slot.

Frankly, for me nothing, repeat nothing, supersedes the openers. They are where it begins, and quite often can end. They are the reason middle orders make bowlers bleed. So, when India decided to partner Sehwag with Sachin, and not Gambhir, I feared the worst.

After all, wasn’t Gambhir, even in Greg Chappell’s time, labelled as fragile and soft?

Yet when he acquitted himself in an ODI at no. 3, I was pleasantly surprised. But then returned the trickiness outside-off, a random demotion in the batting order and an assortment of cricketing speed-breakers.

It was baffling to see them break the Sehwag-Gambhir love affair – how could they not see what so blatantly obvious. Yet it was equally baffling to see Gambhir battle on, hour after hour after hour in Napier. At some point it, as he smothered another Vettori delivery into the earth, it looked like he’d merge with the pitch, some new installation art.

He was one with the cricket universe of Napier, he was in McLean Park, and McLean Park was in him.

Gautam Gambhir, on 29th & 30th March, made love to the game, and allowed the game to make love to him.

It will in all likelihood be his most unforgettable cricketing romance.

Soviets and lefties.

Looks like India won the battle and didn’t lose the war either. When you win the last test in a series it’s an altogether different high - be it to seal or square a series or pick some hand-me-downs from the Aussies in a dead rubber. In dead rubbers, it appears, the Aussies go get a manicure – and choose not to dirty their hands with the efforts of a scorecard inspiring 4-0 win. 2-1 will do, thanks mate.

So while the Aussies pound teams in the virginal days of a series, it’s full time commitment that puts them off. Except when it’s the English they’re deflowering. That’s when even five-nil is an understatement. You have to delve into details. How many innings’ defeats? How many ten-wicket wins? Are the pommies scarred for life? Will they make it for the next Ashes?

And that is what separates two teams in a series, even when they are locked at one all. Like India-South Africa. Who, in Rameez Raja speak, dented the others’ confidence quite badly?

Even though India had the last laugh, what about Ahmedabad? Why did it happen? Does it necessitate a complete breakdown –followed by a rehab visit to get all cleaned up - to bounce back again?

Is team India just a motley crew of gifted cricketers put together– the Soviet Union of cricket. Also consider India’s policy on no-first-use of nukes! Hit us, then we’ll hit back, only harder.

Over to the Bong bombshell Saurav Ganguly, who’s nearly hooked up with the potential of his big box office debut. And though he didn’t chart a century at Kanpur, it set Sauravspeak in motion: his best innings, he says. Or did he mean, “one of”. Not as in “one off”. Either way, Dada was on: a left handed VVS Laxman.

Of the other lefties, Irfan Pathan wasn’t playing, Piyush Chawla got two wickets (and then wasn’t playing) and with Yuvraj Singh, the promoters wangled a 32 run item number.

Who’s left?

Gambhir for Jaffer?

Also don't be surprised if IPL performances decide the odd test slot.

By the way, Suresh Raina bats left handed too.