Spare a thought for Saeed Ajmal.

In the happiest of times, Ajmal looks sad. Must be those eyebrows, there’s irony and grief written there – what use it winning all those games, when I must bowl the losing over. In that last over, those eyebrows became a river continuously changing its course.

After his 18th over, I really felt for him – I dreaded what the 20th may do to him or his eyebrows. I tweeted - Really wonder how Ajmal’s eyebrows will hold up in the 20th - anything less than 15 will be game on. What I meant was anything less than 20, but that sounded too gimmicky, what with twenty20 and 20th over, so I made it 15.

And even though 17 is less than 15, Ajmal knew what I knew – that Hussey fellah will even get 42 in this over if he has to – he will force me to bowl no balls, wides, bad balls.

He also knew, if he tied the game, they will force him to bowl the super over – he just had to end it there, for his own good, and that of his eyebrows.

Did you know, Ajmal was the last one to get on the team bus, and he sat all alone in the last seat. He tossed the ball a few times, and said, this is not salad – how can I keep tossing it?

Oh, these last overs, they can screw you.

You was already dead.

Seven thousand foot soldiers couldn’t save thee
While the God on the off side enslaved thee
Some kind of Crusade you led
While the ablest of Generals bled
Falling off the horse you said
“If we don’t make it by nightfall, we’ll be dead”
While the ablest of Generals led
You knew, it didn’t matter at all,
Because you was all
Already dead
You was all
Already dead
Already dead, you was already dead

The first to go was the biggest blow
As he felled down on one, to axe himself done
Next it was you, something you’ll rue
As the man with a horse’s mane, also your bane
Flung a spike ball at you, as it went right through
You knew, it didn’t matter at all,
Because you was all
Already dead
You was all
Already dead
Already dead, you was already dead

And what happened since,
You can go ask your prince
Some kind of Crusade you led
While the Generals bled
And the foot soldiers fled
You knew, it didn’t matter at all,
Because you was all
Already dead
You was all
Already dead
Already dead, you was already dead

You ever come back from the dead, Ricky?


(to be performed by Tom Waits+Grateful Dead, ideally)