Guten Morgan & Arg Duckworth-Lewis*

When Eoin Morgan went wonky with his reverse sweeps, Paul Collingwood got all giggly ‘n’ girlie. It was funny alright. I have never seen Collingwood look amused. That he doesn’t have a sense of humour is obvious. But in spite of that he can giggle. For me that was the high point of the game.

Morgan has this effect on people. Though I wasn’t sitting in a dugout, I did look sideways, and smile. I am convinced, one day, soon, Morgan will manipulate the rules, uproot a stump and hit the ball for six. He will start a new cult, and though it should be called Nagrom Nioe (Eoin Morgan spelt in reverse), he won’t have it any other way – that Modi guy, he’ll uproot the idea and call it something far more accessible – Second-Base Ball. The commentators will crack jokes on the lines of, hey, are you on second base, already? Ready to play ball? But that is Modi’s mantra, and not Morgan’s.

Coming back to Morgan, Colly, and how good it looked at 191. This is why they should have stump mikes in the dugout, so we could have heard Colly get all smug.

And then capture the scene after Duckworth-Lewis pissed on their parade. It would’ve made excellent cinema, the classic before-after ad. Colly glad man, Colly mad man.

Look at the bright side, thanks to the damn D/L method, at least we have something to talk about in this highly intellectual ICC World Twenty20. Can’t they have a rule where the players wear specks and look all geeky – that way we’ll know it’s serious sport.

As for D/L, you guys actually get paid for this?

* If you’re wondering why the headline’s in a foreign language, don’t – it’s just that D/L method

On Bored: Duckworth Lewis + The Mahi-meter

It's the IPL

It’s the IPL
It’s the hype PL
It’s the pipe dream L
It’s the ripe dream L
Think I’m gonna pluck it

Taste it, waste it, paste it, chaste it
Be there, near there, rhyme it, chime it
Means nothing, seems something
One night stand, nothing planned
You’re not playing, you are canned

What’s the haul? Why is there Paul?
Who did the Calling, who cut the Wood?
Who needs a white boy drink boy?
Who needs an old imported rusty toy -
There’s no joy, there’s no joy

Who is the father, who is the son?
Who picked KP, who’s that bum?
Take him on the yacht
Take him to the derby
Put him in a bikini
Put him in a calendar
Put him in a bar
Knight him captain, make him saar
Too much of a double whammy
Just put the blame on Jammy!

It’s the IPL
It’s the hype PL
It’s the pipe dream L
It’s the ripe dream L
Think I’m gonna pluck it
to be contd...

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