Raped by numbers.

Chris Gayle’s screwy stoned look will haunt me for a long time.

Never mind that the Windies lost a match thanks to the Dyson Lewd method.

It was Gayle who had the bummer trip.

His head whirled, twirled, he saw all them D/L score-sheet numbers collide with each other.

Oh maan, like burning fire in his soul.

Had Bob Marley been alive, he would have done a rendition of “No woman, No cry” for Gayle.

Aptly sung as “No man, No cry”

Gayle sat there, sprawled, legs apart in limbo, as if each one of those D/L equations were taking him, one after the other.

But Gayle didn’t move, Gayle didn’t cry.

He just sat there, as the world went by.

And then an age past by him, and the Poms were in for the salt-on-the-open wounds shake-hand.

It was remarkable that Gayle moved.

Even more remarkable that he stood up, almost half expected him to crumble to dust.

And then they shook his hands, but ask the Englishman and they will tell you:

It was like shaking a dead man’s hand.

So when Gayle later said that he won’t Kill Dyson, you had to believe him.

That was not anger he felt, just a deep pain at being raped by numbers.

Btw here's RS' feed on how to tweak the D/L method

High on Chanderpaul

It's not as if you or I were given out
It was Shivnarine Chanderpaul given out
Not once but twice given out
Not once but twice given out

Checked in for bed & breakfast
Loads of runs, bangers and mash
Scoring runs like a rash
And still he wouldn’t get that Stanford cash!

The finger went up
He stood there holding his empty cup
And then the referral
And then the referral

It pulled the plate right before his eyes
Hungry he was and it hit him high
But these umpires and their crooked lies
Why don’t they get outta here, go bake some pies

Already invested in a bad plan
Lost a million before he won it
A lone man, not part of a clan
Lost a million before he won it

High on Chanderpaul we was
High on Chanderpaul the ball was
High handed on Chanderpaul the umpire was
High handed on Chanderpaul the third umpire was.

3rd umpire's visual evidence for Chanderpaul's Dismissal

Thank you Kevin.

Mallaya claims he would’ve paid a lot more for KP. He will once the IPL starts.

KP could be God’s gift to batting, but he is also the devil’s gift to cricket.

The blame for 51 all out will go in many directions.

But if English cricket is honest about the blame game, they can either yield to KP, or make him yield to them.

The middle path is not going to work. Not with him, not with the team.