Why watch Pak play

Before Pakistan went down under, I believed they were a better team than Australia. I was wrong, as Pakistan was not a team, and their motley group of ball throwers and ball hitters soon started to resemble a badly funded Russian circus. Still I watched, not so much in hope for them, but because of the senior most player in the team.

Not MoYo, not Younis, not Afridi, (was he even there?), but big lips, Umar Akmal. He played in spite of the idiocy around him; innings after innings he was the only reason any Pakistani would dare watch his team play.

Today, when Pak played Australia, they were determined to lose again, but for Umar Akmal. They bat him as low as 6 so the millionaires can bankrupt the team, and then, hand the lost venture to Umar – hey kid, we’re in the red, can you do something? And boy, can he do something – he will play shots you forgot are played, he will run for a tailender, he will run for you, he will run for Pakistan.

It’s been a rotten year for cricket, what with the muck around, almost unwatchable. Good there’s a player like Umar Akmal, you can write about the cricket again. And not the politics that threaten to destroy it.

Ultimate Solution for Pakistan Cricket

No, it has nothing to do with India or Kashmir.

There's only one solution for Pakistan cricket: your first name gotta be UMAR.
- via Naked Cricket on twitter

It's not tough, this is how it will be -

1. Umar Butt
2. Umar Hasan
3. Umar Akmal (Sr)
4. Umar Malik
5. Umar Afridi
6. Umar Akmal (Jr)
7. Umar Razzaq
8. Umar Aamer
9. Umar Gul
10.Umar Akhtar
11.Umar Ajmal

Now that's harmony. They'll all be on first name basis again.

On Bored: Read my lips

A new toast for two ten.

I don’t care if he’s Indian or if he’s Pakistani
Don’t care if it’s you or some guy called Mohammad Sami
I don’t care if he’s a drunk or a flag bearer for the barmy army
Don’t care if it’s Umar Akmal after a brazen 49
Don’t care if it’s Shane Watson in the tavern after a run out on 99
I want a new toast
A new toast for two-ten

It can’t be that difficult
To give some new kids a chance
You can’t have the same mob playing all the time
And then saying there’s too much cricket
But wait a second, if there’s too much cricket
Why don’t you take a chill pill?
You may not quite be over the hill
But when the fuck will you get your fill?

Zaheer and Bhajji, what’s with you
You waiting to disintegrate on the field
Now you see the Lankans, right?
Do you even know their names?
Yeah, so bring some nameless players
From the back of beyond
A new state, somewhere in the North East
Or the Andaman Islands
Yeah, give it a push guys
You looking for a fucking fast bowler
Maybe you been looking in the wrong places
Go look in the middle of MP which incidentally
Is also the middle of India
If a kid can tame a tiger
Yeah, you know what I’m saying
I want a new toast
A new toast for two ten
Not you toast
No, no, no
I don’t wanna toast your five for whenever that comes
I wanna toast your five weeks off


On Bored: Cricket Songs

Sacrificial Goats.

Pakistan’s first three batsmen in batting order are Khurram Manzoor, Imran Farhat and Fawad Alam. Bet you’ve been following their careers all your life. Khurram and Fawad have played 9 tests between them, both made their debut this summer.

Imran Farhat has played 28 tests across 8 years. After Afridi, he’s the first proper T20 batsman to play test cricket.

In 6 test innings in the Dunedin test, these three batsmen had a bumper harvest of 67 runs between them.

In the absence of Younis Khan, none of the so called seniors cared to bat up the order. Instead they were scattered all over the place, waiting for the older ball.

Captain MoYo at four. Former captain Malik at six after that nineteen year old kid on debut, Umar Akmal.

Wait and watch, if Mohammad Aamer shows any more promise as a batsman, he could be earn himself a double promotion.

In the meantime, MoYo will lead from the middle.


On Bored: Pakistan Cricket Specials