Who let the Banjo out

Way before today's newspapers gave you the Banjo Cassim story, Real IPL Player fixed him. Here.

I am the Real IPL Player!

I’m really real
I’m not a fake
I’m here in South Africa for Heaven’s sake
Not far away in some banana shake

I am the Real IPL Player
I am!
Not the Fake IPL Player
I am not!

I will take real names
Not any fake names
I’m here in South Africa
Not sitting somewhere far away in Antarctica

I’d love to play cricket in an animal safari
Bowl to some wild cat, sipping on my Campari
Instead I will sing and dance with them
Oh those round a*sed cheerleaders, how I love ‘em!

I am the Real IPL Player
No, no, I’m not the fake
I’m not gonna call him the Sheikh of Tweak
I'll call him Shane, and share with him a steak

I’m loyal to the royals
And with Delhi my blood boils
I’m for Real, I am
I’m not a Fake, I am not

Give me a shot!
It’s gonna get hot
You’ll forget what was it that
Alexander with Porus Fought!

Coz I am for REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!
I am!
I am not a FAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
I am not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Som is the Real IPL Player at Bored Cricket Crazy Indians. Because Som like it hot!

AFRICAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Look who’s coming to you, baby!

Goldyji, from the Beer & Wine shop called – he wanted to send me to South Africa. But for that he wanted me to first send myself to the B&W shop. I didn’t want to send myself anywhere, not at 4pm, on a May Day -but these Kingfisher suits were over, as were the cards, one out of those five were going to turn me into a cheerleader.

I had to go. And look what I picked – a Kingfisher Delhi Daredevils Bat Opener, suddenly I felt like Gaurav Gambhir. The suits felt my pain, and on a second attempt when I didn’t pick SAF, but another opener, they felt duty bound to gift me the Kingfisher Delhi Daredevils Ball Clock. Yeah, it sounds obscene, but it doesn’t look half as bad.

I drove back with a heavy heart, and an even heavier crate of beer. Maybe a Bored Member wasn’t meant to be in South Africa. Who will be the Bored Cricket Crazy Indians (BCC!) IPL rep – with such thoughts I nearly drove up the wrong tree.

But all wasn’t lost. Maybe for the Knight Riders but not for BCC! - Bored Member Som (of Doosra fame) was going hitch a ride to South Africa. As I write, Som opens his stance for an airhostess at 24,000 feet.

He will soon be in South Africa. And once there he will lock horns with cheerleaders, big Mommas, little miss sunshines, a light tower, a digital scoreboard, the Joburg night scene, Joburg crime scene, lewd African jokes, black magic, white minority reports, and even cricketers whose real names he will take – Yeah, he’s no fake, he’s THE REAL IPL PLAYER.

Eat your heart out, baby!

YES! I want to follow 'Som from South Africa' at Bored Cricket Crazy Indians (BCC!)