This cartoon was first posted on Bored
Also on Bored: A 1000 bored ways to like cricket
Showing posts with label Pakistan cricket. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pakistan cricket. Show all posts
October 01, 2010
August 21, 2010
A single man
I didn’t always like Younis Khan. There was an ugliness to his batting and he scored far too much against India. Then Pakistan and India stopped playing each other, Younis stopped making runs, still he smiled. Then Pakistan stopped playing altogether, still he smiled. Then Pakistan started playing, Younis didn’t make many runs, still he smiled.
The exact sequence of events is a mere approximation, but it is true, Younis smiled through it all. He captained them to the T20 World Cup, and then walked away from T20 cricket itself. It is not clear whether Dravid got into his ear, or for that matter in Graeme Smith’s ear, but to win and call it quits, it takes a deep rooted understanding of sport’s greatest clichés – quit when on top. Explains why Sachin goes away every few months, he’s on top, gotta sustain it.
But this is about Younis. It’s mind boggling that Pak plays test cricket and he does not. If Shoaib Malik can be given a second chance, we should even revisit bodyline.
As for Younis, he’s had it far from easy; in his young life he had already lost many of his family, guess that smile is one way of staying sane. And then to contend with Pakistan cricket.
For me, he’s always been their man at 3 – 12 of his 16 centuries are at that position, in those 12, there’s a double, a triple, and a score of 199.
Instead, Pak have found in a debutant, Wahab Riaz, a number three batsman. Sure he came in as a nightwatchman, but 27 runs, accumulated over close to two hours, that’s more than all their No 3 suitors have batted collectively.
Lest we forget, Younis averages over 50, both at 3, and in his career. At three, he’s a few more decimal points than his career average. For someone as fickle as Ijaz Butt, and his band of hoodlums, if anything those decimal points could make the difference, as they refuse to see the larger picture.
But for Younis to return, Pakistan must lose to England at the Oval and at Lord’s, and Butt must sustain his poor form. The cyclical nature of Pak cricket will continue, and by next year, I will be captain, playing my first test for Pakistan.
On Bored: A day in the life of Younis Khan
The exact sequence of events is a mere approximation, but it is true, Younis smiled through it all. He captained them to the T20 World Cup, and then walked away from T20 cricket itself. It is not clear whether Dravid got into his ear, or for that matter in Graeme Smith’s ear, but to win and call it quits, it takes a deep rooted understanding of sport’s greatest clichés – quit when on top. Explains why Sachin goes away every few months, he’s on top, gotta sustain it.
But this is about Younis. It’s mind boggling that Pak plays test cricket and he does not. If Shoaib Malik can be given a second chance, we should even revisit bodyline.
As for Younis, he’s had it far from easy; in his young life he had already lost many of his family, guess that smile is one way of staying sane. And then to contend with Pakistan cricket.
For me, he’s always been their man at 3 – 12 of his 16 centuries are at that position, in those 12, there’s a double, a triple, and a score of 199.
Instead, Pak have found in a debutant, Wahab Riaz, a number three batsman. Sure he came in as a nightwatchman, but 27 runs, accumulated over close to two hours, that’s more than all their No 3 suitors have batted collectively.
Lest we forget, Younis averages over 50, both at 3, and in his career. At three, he’s a few more decimal points than his career average. For someone as fickle as Ijaz Butt, and his band of hoodlums, if anything those decimal points could make the difference, as they refuse to see the larger picture.
But for Younis to return, Pakistan must lose to England at the Oval and at Lord’s, and Butt must sustain his poor form. The cyclical nature of Pak cricket will continue, and by next year, I will be captain, playing my first test for Pakistan.
On Bored: A day in the life of Younis Khan
August 20, 2010
Welcome back MoYo.
I like it when players come out of retirement. MoYo was sulking when he went away. Back at the Oval, he looked one with the universe of cricket again. This was his scene, he was the man, amongst his pre-pubescent teammates.
It’s when you reacquaint yourself with the minor quirks of a player that you realize how much you like the guy’s cricket – his nod to the non-striker, in a weird way, reminded me of Sachin’s nod to himself. Those crazy, black holes for eyes, where many a bowler's been lost.
His beard made me curious as always, and I realized it’s not as long as I make it in the toons – bit it’s still a caricature of a beard. But that’s MoYo, he’s been something a cartoon.
But can this cartoon play. From the defence, to the nod to the bowler, the few steps down, after one of those defensive blocks, and his movement across the crease. His communication with Azhar Ali, looked like he was shepherding a favourite nephew.
And then that cover drive, isn’t that why we want to watch MoYo? But the shot of the day, and you’d be lucky if you saw it, was MoYo waiting, waiting, waiting…playing the quick late, like he was a slow train coming, angled bat, fine, well past second slip, to third man for four. It had to be third man, for that’s where MoYo loves it.
If MoYo wasn’t so eccentric, we’d talk about his cricket more.
On Bored: Loads more on MoYo
It’s when you reacquaint yourself with the minor quirks of a player that you realize how much you like the guy’s cricket – his nod to the non-striker, in a weird way, reminded me of Sachin’s nod to himself. Those crazy, black holes for eyes, where many a bowler's been lost.
His beard made me curious as always, and I realized it’s not as long as I make it in the toons – bit it’s still a caricature of a beard. But that’s MoYo, he’s been something a cartoon.
But can this cartoon play. From the defence, to the nod to the bowler, the few steps down, after one of those defensive blocks, and his movement across the crease. His communication with Azhar Ali, looked like he was shepherding a favourite nephew.
And then that cover drive, isn’t that why we want to watch MoYo? But the shot of the day, and you’d be lucky if you saw it, was MoYo waiting, waiting, waiting…playing the quick late, like he was a slow train coming, angled bat, fine, well past second slip, to third man for four. It had to be third man, for that’s where MoYo loves it.
If MoYo wasn’t so eccentric, we’d talk about his cricket more.
On Bored: Loads more on MoYo
July 22, 2010
Pakistan's day in the sun
It’s been a long while since Pakistan won a full day’s play against Australia. To string two sessions together, that usually takes some doing for them. Even at 29/4, after Ponting’s wicket, you expected Hussey to kick in. Instead the umpire kicked in, Hussey got a dodgy decision.
Then Butt’s captaincy kicked in, and when was the last time that happened for Pakistan? Instinct, part-time bowler, both coming off – part-timer beats bat, picks a second over, picks a wicket. Butt looked pumped, think I saw him fold hands heavenwards for an instant.
Going by experience, you will still back Pakistan to lose from here – take a 100 -120 run lead, and then slide into classic second innings bowling mode – languid bowlers that miss the first innings’ spark. Australia, worst case scenario, notch up 250-275 (if heavy conditions hold along with Hussey and some tailender freak show); Pakistan up against 150 or so; one Aussie quick gets his mojo back, Pakistan get bowled out for 88 or whereabouts. Yeah, you’d expect that from Pak.
Be good if it doesn’t happen though, like to see this Pak side bat, see the Akmal’s put up their cricket ballet show, 6,4, 4 sort of thing. Notch up a big lead, and see the likes of Asif and Co well rested after their monumental task (of bowling 33.1 overs) let rip again.
Anything can happen with a Pakistan kitchenette. Butt...
On Bored: Shoaib Malik's ironic post match con
Then Butt’s captaincy kicked in, and when was the last time that happened for Pakistan? Instinct, part-time bowler, both coming off – part-timer beats bat, picks a second over, picks a wicket. Butt looked pumped, think I saw him fold hands heavenwards for an instant.
Going by experience, you will still back Pakistan to lose from here – take a 100 -120 run lead, and then slide into classic second innings bowling mode – languid bowlers that miss the first innings’ spark. Australia, worst case scenario, notch up 250-275 (if heavy conditions hold along with Hussey and some tailender freak show); Pakistan up against 150 or so; one Aussie quick gets his mojo back, Pakistan get bowled out for 88 or whereabouts. Yeah, you’d expect that from Pak.
Be good if it doesn’t happen though, like to see this Pak side bat, see the Akmal’s put up their cricket ballet show, 6,4, 4 sort of thing. Notch up a big lead, and see the likes of Asif and Co well rested after their monumental task (of bowling 33.1 overs) let rip again.
Anything can happen with a Pakistan kitchenette. Butt...
On Bored: Shoaib Malik's ironic post match con
July 17, 2010
You are the Boom Boom!
You are the boom boom
BOOM BOOM!
You are the bass guitar
You the lead sitar
You are a rock band
You are the front man
You are Bono, Jagger, Jim and Jimmie
But you got stuck playing test cricket again.
On Bored: Ringside view of Afridi's retirement
BOOM BOOM!
You are the bass guitar
You the lead sitar
You are a rock band
You are the front man
You are Bono, Jagger, Jim and Jimmie
But you got stuck playing test cricket again.
On Bored: Ringside view of Afridi's retirement
June 20, 2010
Next in the Pak entourage
The old India beaters are all there: Aqib Javed, Ijaz Ahmed, excellent prop the latter makes. As disgruntled as ever, to keep him that way, he is not allowed a chair. He stands, angrily, channelizing his negative energy on to India. And Aqib Javed, fresh from spitting at his mates in that hearing, is hawk eye, stumpcam all rolled into one; he stands too. Waqar Younis clean-shaven and all, looks more the bowler that yorked India. He sits, somewhat confused.
Why stop at them, bring on Zaheer Abbas and Javed Miandad while you're at it. Ramiz Raja anyone? Wouldn't that be nice.
Why stop at them, bring on Zaheer Abbas and Javed Miandad while you're at it. Ramiz Raja anyone? Wouldn't that be nice.
May 22, 2010
April 06, 2010
March 28, 2010
MoYo - wake me up before you go go!
Players like MoYo never retire. They are banned, ostracized. Often ignored, not picked from the team hotel for the game, but in spite of that, their thick skin endures them to life’s ruthless ways. When life settles, it unsettles them.
A captaincy can provoke such unsettlement in the extreme. Poor MoYo, he was all shook up by the captaincy. As I have said before, it is not easy captaining from third man, especially if you know you’re a third rate captain.
Also, as I have said before, he, like his co-conspirators, those spineless seniors, who collectively spat at the No. 3 position…but if it’s been said before, then why say it again?
Sunday afternoon, siesta time, to hell with MoYo. Let’s sleep on it. MoYo’s not going anywhere. He’ll be back with a new hairstyle.
On Bored: The many lives and times of MoYo
A captaincy can provoke such unsettlement in the extreme. Poor MoYo, he was all shook up by the captaincy. As I have said before, it is not easy captaining from third man, especially if you know you’re a third rate captain.
Also, as I have said before, he, like his co-conspirators, those spineless seniors, who collectively spat at the No. 3 position…but if it’s been said before, then why say it again?
Sunday afternoon, siesta time, to hell with MoYo. Let’s sleep on it. MoYo’s not going anywhere. He’ll be back with a new hairstyle.
On Bored: The many lives and times of MoYo
March 23, 2010
March 11, 2010
February 01, 2010
Afridi: Smart or smarting?
Why did he bite that ball? He wanted that suspension bad, real bad, so bad he didn’t want to lose a T20 to Oz. And as the T20 Champions that is not an option. Def not if you are captain. Afridi knows: this team can't win a test, a one dayer, a T20, heck, if they tried, they'll lose at book cricket. This is not a team. It is an ego trip.
Then again, there's another theory: he’s a bloody idiot. Does he drink and drive – if he does, what would it be – cricket ball juice. Picture Boom Boom stick a straw into a ball and drive. Weird but then so is he.
Though not half as weird as MoYo. But that's an altogether different story. Looks like someone pulled his leg, he hurt it, and pulled out of the 5th one dayer.
On Bored - Next: Afridi bites teammate
Then again, there's another theory: he’s a bloody idiot. Does he drink and drive – if he does, what would it be – cricket ball juice. Picture Boom Boom stick a straw into a ball and drive. Weird but then so is he.
Though not half as weird as MoYo. But that's an altogether different story. Looks like someone pulled his leg, he hurt it, and pulled out of the 5th one dayer.
On Bored - Next: Afridi bites teammate
January 31, 2010
Over to Afridi
Left to himself, Afridi would like to play just the super over. And the IPL is one big Boom Boom super over, put him on a polygraph and the truth will out itself – “I’m confident, gimme the T20 or 20 balls and I will go Boom Boom – No thinking, just hitting, no thinking…”
Afridi is not alone, if you put others to the test, their love for T20 will come shining through, honestly. There is Rohit Sharma, who is forced to play Ranji, and then score a triple – can you imagine the torture – in the same time he could have played a few IPLs.
But Afridi is special. Today he plays yet another one day game, the fifth – string them together and five one day games make a test (and more) – no wonder he’s had a rough series. All along he’s been thinking, “I’m not confident, why are you giving me test when I want T20”
This is wrong: First you make MoYo captain, then Younis, ex-captain returns – and pressure too. Why have expectations when you have Afridi. Just let him play, but he can’t play as a follower, taking orders – if only there was the super sub rule, and he came and smashed the ball around for a few overs.
Now seeing as this is a post on Afridi It’s already way too long. 16 overs to go, kaptaan Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai! on next – life is a T20 again.
On Bored: Razzaqed (an attempt to unite India and Pakistan over cricket, again)
Afridi is not alone, if you put others to the test, their love for T20 will come shining through, honestly. There is Rohit Sharma, who is forced to play Ranji, and then score a triple – can you imagine the torture – in the same time he could have played a few IPLs.
But Afridi is special. Today he plays yet another one day game, the fifth – string them together and five one day games make a test (and more) – no wonder he’s had a rough series. All along he’s been thinking, “I’m not confident, why are you giving me test when I want T20”
This is wrong: First you make MoYo captain, then Younis, ex-captain returns – and pressure too. Why have expectations when you have Afridi. Just let him play, but he can’t play as a follower, taking orders – if only there was the super sub rule, and he came and smashed the ball around for a few overs.
Now seeing as this is a post on Afridi It’s already way too long. 16 overs to go, kaptaan Shahid Bhai! Shahid Bhai! on next – life is a T20 again.
On Bored: Razzaqed (an attempt to unite India and Pakistan over cricket, again)
November 20, 2009
November 11, 2009
A third rate captain.
I have watched Mohammad Yousuf closely, last time round in Delhi, he fielded under my nose. At third man. Third man is MoYo’s favourite place in the whole world. It is here that he’s one with himself, far from the madding crowds of team bonhomie, backslapping, hair ruffling, feelings, feeling.
When a wicket fell, no less than an Indian wicket that, after the mercurial Shoaib Akhtar ran a mile to bowl, MoYo didn’t budge an inch, forget drag his heals a few metres to the middle.
Instead he turned on his heal, turned his back to the boys, got lost in some future ICL thoughts.
Now MoYo is to be captain for a full test series. Never mind he says – I will captain from third man. This way, I don’t need to hurl annoying instructions that captains…he stops mid sentence, sensing an effort .
From third man there will be no such problems. Bowlers will bowl, appeal, change ends. Yes, that’s another thing, no appealing either. “I will not raise a finger, not in appeal, not at anyone, I want peace”
And what about the change of ends after every over – surely MoYo will not walk a few paces to mid on - that would be much too close to his teammates or cross over to the other side again (just to be in his safe house, third man)
MoYo languidly strokes his beard, and replies somewhat sternly, “I cannot afford to remain there and have a long on…I am not a defensive captain...I plan to go off the field every alternate over and give some youngster an opportunity to play for Pakistan”
On Bored: Vettori to captain Pakistan
When a wicket fell, no less than an Indian wicket that, after the mercurial Shoaib Akhtar ran a mile to bowl, MoYo didn’t budge an inch, forget drag his heals a few metres to the middle.
Instead he turned on his heal, turned his back to the boys, got lost in some future ICL thoughts.
Now MoYo is to be captain for a full test series. Never mind he says – I will captain from third man. This way, I don’t need to hurl annoying instructions that captains…he stops mid sentence, sensing an effort .
From third man there will be no such problems. Bowlers will bowl, appeal, change ends. Yes, that’s another thing, no appealing either. “I will not raise a finger, not in appeal, not at anyone, I want peace”
And what about the change of ends after every over – surely MoYo will not walk a few paces to mid on - that would be much too close to his teammates or cross over to the other side again (just to be in his safe house, third man)
MoYo languidly strokes his beard, and replies somewhat sternly, “I cannot afford to remain there and have a long on…I am not a defensive captain...I plan to go off the field every alternate over and give some youngster an opportunity to play for Pakistan”
On Bored: Vettori to captain Pakistan
August 01, 2009
Extras more influential than Younis Khan.
Pakistan has not collapsed, they’ve just stumbled along the way. Almost like tripping yourself. How do you that – watch Pakistan bat 50 overs, 30 too many by far.
So here we are 144/9, and the Extras at 26 (b 4, lb 4, w 18) captaining the team. Next highest is the captain for post match communication, 23 (73).
As expected, the Strike Rate of Extras is 100 - research unavailable to prove if 2 or more leg byes were taken on a single delivery. If so, the strike rate of extras would be in excess of 100.
Compare that to poor Younis’, a princely 31.50. Misbah gone, MoYo gone, it’s only ODIs, so how long will it take Younis to go?
It’s one thing to unite a team, but what good is a united team if they still don’t score?
So here we are 144/9, and the Extras at 26 (b 4, lb 4, w 18) captaining the team. Next highest is the captain for post match communication, 23 (73).
As expected, the Strike Rate of Extras is 100 - research unavailable to prove if 2 or more leg byes were taken on a single delivery. If so, the strike rate of extras would be in excess of 100.
Compare that to poor Younis’, a princely 31.50. Misbah gone, MoYo gone, it’s only ODIs, so how long will it take Younis to go?
It’s one thing to unite a team, but what good is a united team if they still don’t score?
July 29, 2009
Shahid Afridi, are the teens finally over?
He bats, he bowls, he even wins you matches, let’s make him captain too. That sounds like Shakib Al Hasan’s job profile, so why can’t it be Shahid Afridi’s?
On the face of it, sounds eccentric for Afridi to even have a job profile, just doesn’t sit right. Can Afridi sit? Almost like Jatman-Sehwag and a job profile. Like bottling up dynamite! Listen, no matter how focussed dynamite is, it is still dynamite. For me, Boom Boom is still Bang Bang!
In the T20 World Cup final he was cool like a Collingwood. And he won that, didn’t he? Likewise in the semis. The Boom Boomers say, hasn’t he showed his credentials with Habib Bank, Sind and Karachi Dolphins over the years, and earned this. What, T20, make him captain of the one-day team, test side…ok, he doesn’t play tests or does he? The Boom Boomers will go to the extent of saying, why stop at captaincy, make him President of a political party – his raised arms will be a balm for Pakistan. He’s the real deal, not Imran Bhai.
Also in Boom Boom’s favour is experience and age – he’s been playing for what, 13 years now? He surely has another 13 years in him, and he can’t be more than 13 years’ old himself! Yeah, that’s why he behaves like a teenager every now and then! If Boom Boom had a song it would be, 13 till I die!
But then why try and cajole Younis Khan into captaincy? Is there a plan to make Younis the non-playing smiling T20 captain – handle rough interviews and rough players, is that YK’s job profile?
Still stranger, why appoint Boom Boom captain for the solitary T20 game v Sri Lanka? If he lifts another first ball to long-off, is that it for him? Show some faith, at least make him captain till the 2010 World Cup. It’s not as if it’s 4 years away. And Boom Boom will still be only 13 years’ old then.
But for me, Afridi should be captain because he’s a frigging character. After each wicket the team will strike ballet like poses, raised arms and all. The timing’s spot on, now if only Boom Boom can work things out without the psycho analyst or whatever he was. Else it’ll be, Honey I shrunk the team!
On Bored: Wasim's take on Boom Boom Afridi
On the face of it, sounds eccentric for Afridi to even have a job profile, just doesn’t sit right. Can Afridi sit? Almost like Jatman-Sehwag and a job profile. Like bottling up dynamite! Listen, no matter how focussed dynamite is, it is still dynamite. For me, Boom Boom is still Bang Bang!
In the T20 World Cup final he was cool like a Collingwood. And he won that, didn’t he? Likewise in the semis. The Boom Boomers say, hasn’t he showed his credentials with Habib Bank, Sind and Karachi Dolphins over the years, and earned this. What, T20, make him captain of the one-day team, test side…ok, he doesn’t play tests or does he? The Boom Boomers will go to the extent of saying, why stop at captaincy, make him President of a political party – his raised arms will be a balm for Pakistan. He’s the real deal, not Imran Bhai.
Also in Boom Boom’s favour is experience and age – he’s been playing for what, 13 years now? He surely has another 13 years in him, and he can’t be more than 13 years’ old himself! Yeah, that’s why he behaves like a teenager every now and then! If Boom Boom had a song it would be, 13 till I die!
But then why try and cajole Younis Khan into captaincy? Is there a plan to make Younis the non-playing smiling T20 captain – handle rough interviews and rough players, is that YK’s job profile?
Still stranger, why appoint Boom Boom captain for the solitary T20 game v Sri Lanka? If he lifts another first ball to long-off, is that it for him? Show some faith, at least make him captain till the 2010 World Cup. It’s not as if it’s 4 years away. And Boom Boom will still be only 13 years’ old then.
But for me, Afridi should be captain because he’s a frigging character. After each wicket the team will strike ballet like poses, raised arms and all. The timing’s spot on, now if only Boom Boom can work things out without the psycho analyst or whatever he was. Else it’ll be, Honey I shrunk the team!
On Bored: Wasim's take on Boom Boom Afridi
July 14, 2009
Pakistan cricket team for SALE.
A wealthy Pakistani shows interest in purchasing the Pak cricket team, and showing them around the world as a travelling circus.
However, there’s a problem – the players are tall, big built, with even bigger egos, “Space is a problem, how will they ever fit?” he asks the PCB salesman.
To which the PCB salesman replies, “Don’t worry sir, they are collapsible”
However, there’s a problem – the players are tall, big built, with even bigger egos, “Space is a problem, how will they ever fit?” he asks the PCB salesman.
To which the PCB salesman replies, “Don’t worry sir, they are collapsible”
February 21, 2009
Pakistan play their first test in 14 months.
You bloody idiots, you've even forgotten
what to wear for a test match!?
what to wear for a test match!?
for more cricket cartoons, laugh here
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