Played boys, now take two weeks off.

Our team wins the World Cup on Saturday going on Sunday, 03 April 2011. Sunday will and should fly past in a blur of manic partying. What have they got to themselves before reporting for IPL Duty – 4th, 5th, 6th April.

That’s 3 days max. By 7th April latest, MSD, Raina and Ashwin, will report to Chennai to warm up and try their gear before their first IPL game vs. Kolkota Knight Riders – oh right, Gambhir and Yusuf Pathan should be in on the 7th too. 8th April is CSK vs. KKR.

The weekend has another four games, by which time all 10 teams would have played.That's within a week from the moment India won the World Cup. England did something similarly stupid with their dates after the Ashes, and before the World Cup. See what happened to them.

It’s taken me two days to write this post, and all I did was follow these guys for forty days on TV.

Here’s the IPL itinerary. It would have made sense, if like 2007, India never made it beyond the first round.

BCCI, to hell with your crores. Spare some loose change in weeks.

The very latest on the Kochi franchise's future

click on cartoon

First posted on Bored

On Bored: Kochi unveils its IPL logo

Lalit Modi's latest demand

On Bored: LKM in color

No #

The IPL had #IPL. That you can never take away from it. What did the ICC World Twenty20 have?

#WorldT20? No way. You wanna tweet or write a book. T20WC, that’s toilet and you know it. T20WorldCup, too long. I’m not even sure we agreed on a # for this tournament.

Most times, most of us dumped the #. It wasn’t A grade # anyway. Next time whenever the ICC decides to have the short tournament with the long name, work some on the branding.

Make people talk about it. Ok, it doesn’t have to be short, something memorable will do – Sidebottom? You never know what you stumble on with an open mind – the ICC could just call the ICC League – IL, they’re sick, and if they play it in Chicago winter, so will everyone else be.

On Bored: What is a Show Cause Notice?

Little Lalit (After India lost to the Windies)

Eureka!! Let's have a little IPL when they get back

Lalit Modi in his free time

On Bored: More cricket cartoons

You can count on Suresh Raina after you drop him twice.

Raina is keen. And MSD’s done well to back him, (even ahead of Nohit Sharma, imagine). The kid brings a simple cricketing intensity, there’s no side to him, no nakharas. He plays some hard cricket, loves his midwicket shots so much he forgets to play offside, loves his fielding, and doesn’t return favours, dropping catches.

When he bowls, holding back the delivery till he gauges the batsman’s movement till the last instant, you sense the masti Raina gets out of his cricket. When was the last time you saw that in an Indian cricketer – no tension, happy bowling, fielding, catching, batting.

Now you know why the twosome collectively spilled him, why Zaks dropped him. Raina is a lappa – when he’s not hitting the ball far, he’s hitting it high – it’s like aiming at a bird, a plane, superman, and marking them as the boundary.

Raina is the endearing little bully from the neighbourhood park – everybody knows he’s better than them, including him.

The IPL can be almost too easy for a player like Raina or Nohit or Yusuf – their abridged focus, some yaari-walli bowling, it’s tonk-tonk time.

While it’ll be great to see them go nuts in the T20 World Cup, these guys gotta extend their think-span overseas, and then who knows, a longer format. How ‘bout one-dayers to begin with?

On Bored: The Great Bored Scandal

Thank You Sachin!

If not for you, sky would fall, rain would gather too (Dylan) – if not for you, the 3rd and 4th place play-off would be big bore boss (Dhillon).

Look at your timing, Tendu – you were born on 24th April, not on 25th – had it been 25th, the Finals would’ve paled, but now, we will watch the 3rd-4th place play off for a glimpse of cheerleaders dressed in Sachin’s Birthday Cake costumes.

We will watch to hear Shastri and Sunny quiz us, whiz us on 20 years of the Little Master. If we’re lucky, Robin Jackman will retread the MRF blimp – make it the SRF blimp. The Sachin Rubber Factory…forefront of cricket technology…and did you know that Sachin wanted to be a pace bowler so he started the SRF Pace Academy…he once endorsed SRF on his bat, but he’s such a humble young man..he finally chose to discontinue it.

It does get a little much, doesn’t it – is that why Sachin’s so low-key? Being sucked up to all the time must hurt. Locker? Yeah, cut that cake in private, dude.


On Bored: Thank You Sachin series

cartoon cricket

click on cartoon to enlarge

Universal Indian Politicians' Disclaimer:

IPL Free Day - India Makes Love Tonite

On Bored: After Thank You Sachin, what next?

Vijay Mallaya caught smoking again!

On Bored: What made Mallya smoke

Sreesanth's problems traced to early childhood.

For David Warner.

David Warner is out of some cricket fairytale. He should be dressed like a Hobbit in big red shoes. The shoes should have little white wings that flap as he gallops from long off to long on to mid off to mid on. Where all does he field? Then again, how big is the field? Too bad the ropes are in, they just rein in Warner – that catch he referred, he would have walloped it with his mouth.

Yes, he can catch with his mouth. He has a tail tucked into his pants, he can catch with that too. And his hands, and his feet, he can catch them with his smile; with that twinkle in his eye.

Warner is a kid. His delight is kidlike, watch him. If you’ve grown too old for the game, watch him raise the catch, raise the ball – to you Delhi, to you Daredevils, to you NSW, to you Australia, to you cricket.

He can bat too. He can wait on the spinners, late, watch him play late. Watch him hurl bat on ball, ball into outer space, some extra terrestrial bound object.

And the first scene at short cover, snatch ball, smash stumps, run out. When you run out of reasons to watch the game, watch Warner. He’ll pull you in, like the runaway ball down long on.


On Bored: Does Warner warrant a song

The IPL Streaker.

With a bottle of Jack he took the field
Took the field, took the field
It wasn't a Chargers' game
But everyone around the Eastern stand said
Hey, is that Roy?!
Is that Roy? Is that Roy?
It wasn't Roy, it wasn't Roy

Everyone at the far Northern stand
had their doubts
they thought it was Herschelle
Hic Hicking away
They thought it was
Herschelle Hic Hicking away

But where he came
from the Western stands
The folks could so clearly see
It was none other than
An IPL Streaker

It was then announced that he will get
Entry free into all the games
The sponsors came thick and fast
A country song went national
It was called
The IPL Streaker song

And whenever he ventured on the field
It sang
With a bottle of Jack
He took the field
took the field, took the field
It wasn't a DC game
But everyone one thought...



On Bored: Cricket songs

Years later, David Hussey on that amazing IPL catch.

On Bored: Low Quality Video of David Hussey's High Quality Catch

Mother.

If Sachin played for Pakistan, I know where Mother's loyalties would be - and if Pakistan played India, the logic would be, he’s the only Indian in the Pak team, he needs our support. I’m tempted to think, that even if I was in that Indian team, it would be a case of split loyalties – and what if I bowled to Sachin, fierce and fast, what then – possibly, let it be a maiden, an over well bowled, let me get 9 wickets, but Sachin, can’t he stay not-out?

And that is only in the make-believe team of Sachin’s Pakistan. Here what we have is Sachin’s Mumbai Indians playing someone’s Delhi Daredevils. We are Delhi-ites, Dilliwallahs, locals – I’ve always been one, the folks, they’ve been for their adult life.

But with such irrational behaviour, can you call them adults – today morning, reading the team ranks to father, she declared – "Sachin’s team has won both their games…they have the best run-rate."

After hurling some morning breath abuse on to the Daredevils, their nomadic bastardly ways, I proceeded to build a verbal diagram of my latest IPL convictions. The Mumbai Indians Indianness in the top 5 – while Mother exited the room, I heard her say, “I was just supporting Sachin’s team”

On most days, such mania would drive me mad. Today, I’m happy Sachin’s team won.



On Bored: Damn, more on Sachin's Indians vs. whoever

IPL Board Exams Clash

On Bored: My old cricket friend

If DD didn't make the semis...

DD can't lose the semis.

Freddie's song: I may not play again!

I’ve been a fool
I played too much
I even played with a crutch
I’ve been a fool
A real big fool
I may not play again
Oh Ho! It feels so bad
But in a way I’m kinda glad
There will be no more farewells
There will be no more stairwells
I’ll just take the easy way out
Hop on the escalator
Jump into the elevator

But what use is that
I want to play again
I really do
I might sound confused
But that’s ‘cause I am
Oh Ho! It feels so bad
I may not play again
Not at the highest level
At least I can go out and revel
In the I P L
Four overs I can bowl
It’s not like walking on coal
MSD is a cool guy
I’m gonna bring him a big fat pie

Oh ho! I feel kinda better now
We won the Ashes and I was there
Not in full but with a tear
Still I was an inspiration
Now am gonna get me a drink
A big lad like me gets thirsty
Oh Ho! At least I’m gonna drink again!