AFRICAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Look who’s coming to you, baby!

Goldyji, from the Beer & Wine shop called – he wanted to send me to South Africa. But for that he wanted me to first send myself to the B&W shop. I didn’t want to send myself anywhere, not at 4pm, on a May Day -but these Kingfisher suits were over, as were the cards, one out of those five were going to turn me into a cheerleader.

I had to go. And look what I picked – a Kingfisher Delhi Daredevils Bat Opener, suddenly I felt like Gaurav Gambhir. The suits felt my pain, and on a second attempt when I didn’t pick SAF, but another opener, they felt duty bound to gift me the Kingfisher Delhi Daredevils Ball Clock. Yeah, it sounds obscene, but it doesn’t look half as bad.

I drove back with a heavy heart, and an even heavier crate of beer. Maybe a Bored Member wasn’t meant to be in South Africa. Who will be the Bored Cricket Crazy Indians (BCC!) IPL rep – with such thoughts I nearly drove up the wrong tree.

But all wasn’t lost. Maybe for the Knight Riders but not for BCC! - Bored Member Som (of Doosra fame) was going hitch a ride to South Africa. As I write, Som opens his stance for an airhostess at 24,000 feet.

He will soon be in South Africa. And once there he will lock horns with cheerleaders, big Mommas, little miss sunshines, a light tower, a digital scoreboard, the Joburg night scene, Joburg crime scene, lewd African jokes, black magic, white minority reports, and even cricketers whose real names he will take – Yeah, he’s no fake, he’s THE REAL IPL PLAYER.

Eat your heart out, baby!

YES! I want to follow 'Som from South Africa' at Bored Cricket Crazy Indians (BCC!)

C'mon

C'mon Aussie C'mon - would you believe an Indian saying that? At BCC!

Cricket Wars

Cricket wars are so sweet
Amply demonstrated by Australia’s retreat
It should have happened earlier
When Steven played his last
It should have happened earlier
When Ricky replayed his past
How he gambled away the game
How he gambled away, shame, shame

Still cricket wars are so sweet
With a sense of history
With a sense of good and bad
With a sense of us and them
Unlikely heroes, tragic comics
Ol’ Major Matthew, over the hill
Holding on to his rifle
Like some life saving yellow pill
Everybody told him he was done
Yet he craved one last hurrah
Out there in the sun
In the sun, in the sun

Cricket wars are so sweet
It takes more than Dutch courage
It takes more than a breakfast full of porridge
It takes more than 2 MM pistols called Michaels
It takes more than 1 spent bullet called Brett
It takes more than a backfire called Andrew
It takes more than an unknown soldier called Simon
It takes more than a one man army called Mitchell
It takes more than a corporal called Ricky
It takes more than a betrayal to win.

Did you know - when Ricky punishes his troops it’s called corporal punishment


(performed by Nina Simone, ideally)

Not bored by SAF-Oz yet?
South Africa: between then and now and the whipping post